Baby Himovitz - Ries

Meet Guck

2010-02-04T11:20:00.001-08:00

"Guck" is Noah's new lovey ... he sleeps with it and carries it around with him wherever he goes. He also loves to read his truck books and point out trucks wherever he can. He came home from Grammy's house with this little truck and he calls it "Guck". We don't know where Grammy got it and she can't remember either. So we live in fear of the day that "Guck" goes missing ...

One night Greg went out for a few hours and I couldn't find "Guck" anywhere. We spent the entire time either texting Greg to tell me where "Guck" could be found or wandering the house searching for "Guck's" whereabouts. This also happened to be around the same time Noah decided that he liked Daddy more than Mommy. Very suspicious if you ask me ...

Dear Sleep ...

2010-02-04T11:15:00.001-08:00

The never-ending ear infection saga is hopefully coming to a close. We met with the specialist last week and she has recommended us for tubes. I think she was expecting me to put up more of a fight regarding the surgery. But at this point, I can't stand seeing my little dude in pain and frankly, we all could use some more sleep in our house. (Well, everyone except Gary and Louis, I think they get plenty of sleep). So, while I'm not crazy about Mr. Noah having to go through any kind of medical procedure, the thought of him hearing everything as if he's underwater and trying to sleep while he's in pain, makes me sick ... let's hope this helps, because I could use a few more Zzzzz's if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Dear Sleep,

I know I didn't appreciate you in the past, but I want you to know that I do now. I miss you and hope that we will meet again one day in the very near future.

Sincerely,

The Himovitz-Ries Family

Mmmmmm ... Coo-Coos!

2010-02-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

I love my chocolate-chip coo-coos!

Meet my new cousin ... I love her!

2010-02-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

Noah loves his cousin, Molly. He calls her "Ba-beee" and loves to share his toys with her, especially when she's nursing. He gives her kisses and points to her nose. He also loves sitting in her vibratey chair.

The perfect day ...

2010-02-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I blew off school on Saturday and decided to see how real people live ... I can't believe what I've been missing. We were almost a normal family! We spent the morning drinking coffee with friends at the house and then we went to lunch with Nana and Papa and then off to the park ... I can't remember the last time the three of us just hung out playing together. Don't get me wrong, we play together at home and we see each other before Noah goes to bed, but this was different. This is what weekends are supposed to be like ... After the park we headed to Ikea and wandered the kid section with what seemed like the rest of Sacramento and then had some friends over for chili and a game of celebrity ...

The day was perfect! On the one hand, it feels like law school is almost over and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. On the other, it doesn't feel like it's going to happen soon enough. Right after graduation I start bar prep and then I have to wait for the results ... I guess it just feels like more hoops and more time away from Noah, Greg and Gary (Louis doesn't really care if I'm there or not).

I'm not a crazy person. I know that life after law school will still require time away from the family. But it will be one thing; one job and it won't require me to spend all of my nights away from home and it won't require me to spend my weekends reading federal income tax law. I will almost be a "normal" person and I seriously can't wait!

Genius Baby

2010-01-20T19:47:00.001-08:00

Mr. Noah on Christmas with his new bike!

I don't wanna brag or anything, but my son is becoming quite the smarty pants! Tonight we were looking at his favorite book, "Book of 100 Words" and we were looking at the animal page (animals are his new favorite things, next to trucks, which he calls "gucks") and I pointed to the piggy and said "Noah what noise does a piggy make? Snort snort?" and he looked at me, took out his boppy, and then "snorted" back at me! Then we pointed to all the other animals, he didn't say all of the noises, but he knows cows and says "moo" and he also likes the owls. He's genius I tell you!

The other big thing that he's started to do (and I maybe shouldn't mention anything, because I don't want to jinx it, but I'm too excited I can't help it, so after I say it pretend I knock on wood and say "God for bid poo poo poo", just to be safe) is he has started to learn how to sleep again! Noah slept through the night until he was 4 months old and then the teething started and after the teething came the ear infections and after the ear infections, or was it during I can't remember, we all got the stomach flu ... so, since we've been recovered from the latest wave of ailments, which is has only be the last 4 or 5 days, Mr. Noah has slept through the night 3 out of the last 4 nights. But that's not all! He has finally learned his sleeping routine!

We've been using "Sleep Sheep" since he was a teeny weeny baby and before that we would use the hair dryer, so he's always had some sort of white noise to help him sleep, but on top of the Sleep Sheep we also had to have the boppy and the night light and the rocking chair and then we'd have to rub his back and then we'd have to wait until he stopped opening his eyes so that we could sneak away ... it was a very long and drawn out production. So for the past 2 or 3 nights it's as if the light switch finally turned on in his genius brain. We turn down the lights, turn on sleep sheep, and he reaches for his crib, lies down and closes his eyes. Tonight, after I put him down, he looked up at me for a second, then turned his head and closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Maybe this is just a temporary thing? Or maybe he really gets it? Either way, it's been amazing!!!

December January

2010-01-14T11:15:00.001-08:00

December flew by ... Noah met his new cousin Molly and loves pointing to her nose and sharing his toys. Whenever we say her name or he sees her he immediately says "Ba-beee." I think they are going to be fast friends.

Noah celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas and this year he actually was able to help open his presents and play with things. (Last year it just felt like I was opening gifts that I bought and wrapped myself). He got his first bike and helmet, a tent and some very cool instruments. I'm sure he will go through many phases during his lifetime, but right now I'm convinced he's going to be a cycling musician.

When I was pregnant, and even before, I always wondered what traits my child would pick up from me ... I hoped he wouldn't have my thighs, but more importantly would he enjoy my love of soccer or shopping? I hoped he got Greg's creativity and his ability to figure things out and appreciate the process of how something works. Maybe he'd have my determination (which is considered by some to be stubbornness) ... who knows.

Nowadays I love watching him dance and spin and I love seeing notice new things ... when he sees a dance or music performance on TV he immediately stops and watches. Sometimes he even dances along. He even bangs and bobs his head around when he plays his guitar.

Noah has picked up several new words and seems to be talking more and more ... he still says "Mommy", "Daddy", "Nana", "Papa", "Gunk-O", "Doggie", "Kee-gee" (he also says "Noo-Noo" which is "Lou Lou" but he won't say "Gary")...he also says a lot of words related to food: "Ba-ba" (banana), "pasta", "mo" (more). He shakes his head "no" and "yes" and he is able to communicate and express what he wants more clearly than before. He says "out" and "go" and his favorite item is "Bobby" which is a pacifier.

My most favorite thing that Noah does now is that he gives hugs and kisses. It's the sweetest thing in the whole word even though his kisses are always slimy or even blocked by a "bobby" it's my most favoritest feeling in the whole world ...

January 2010 hasn't started out as smoothly as I would have liked ... Greg has another broken shoulder bone, which happened in December, but has continued to bother him into the new year. After the new year I got a cold, an ear infection and strep throat, and Greg and Noah also had colds. Noah had another ear infection and to top it all off, we all got the stomach flu. Started with Mr. Noah and then to Greg, and then to me, Nana, Papa and Grandma ... I'm hopeful that it is on its way out and will not be bothering our family anymore, but this has been a rough new year. Noah gave me a kiss this morning and that made me feel a lot better.

New Skills

2009-11-20T14:28:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how much has changed in just a matter of weeks! Noah has become so smart (I know I'm a bit biased, but he really is smart). He understands things and I feel like I can talk to him and he gets it. I can tell him to bring things to daddy and he does it. He also knows Nana, Papa, Auntie and Gunko, which is really Uncle Lucas. He claps, waves, gives high fives and my all time favorite, he does a ""little dance" when you say "do your little dance." He can say "momma", "dadda", "doggie", "kee-gee", which means "kitty", "ball", and "more." It feels like I'm starting to communicate with a little person and I'm having so much fun!

November Spread

2009-11-20T13:54:00.001-08:00

I love it when my Auntie and Gunk-O babysit!

I was very sleepy after playing and watching the Muppet Show.

We went to Apple Hill ... I loved apple donuts!

Don't I look just like daddy when I sleep?

Riding in my wagon is one of my favorite things to do.

On my way to school ...

Sushi Boy!

2009-11-01T06:56:00.001-08:00

In keeping with our food tradition, if you can call something tradition that has only been going on for 2 years, Noah was dressed as a California Roll for Halloween this year (last year Noah was spaghetti and meatballs). The costume doesn't photograph that well, but he was definitely the cutest, and only, little sushi running around at Boo at the Zoo.

October

2009-10-26T16:20:00.001-07:00

Here's what we've been up to since Noah's 1st Birthday ...

We went to Santa Cruz for our 5 year wedding anniversary and brought Noah along. Aside from Greg and Noah taking a spill on our morning jog along the ocean, losing our laptop and a diamond earring, the trip was a complete success!

This is a picture of Noah the first time he sat in sand. It's also after the baby jogger incident, so he has a little, teeny black eye ...

Noah immediately ate the sand and even though he didn't like the taste of it, he continued to shovel it in his mouth ... I think he takes after his mommy.

This is the first time Noah saw the ocean. He didn't really get that the ocean was in fact a giant pool that he could swim in, but he did enjoy eating more sand. We also seem to find the one beach that had a dead seal on it. We tried to avoid the stink, but it seemed like everywhere we went we were "down-wind", so we eventually had to leave.
Daddy showing Noah the water ...

Greg tried showing the Noah the water this way ... he didn't want to swim in it, but he still enjoyed feeling it.

When we got back to the room, Noah passed out! It's hard hanging out at the beach!
Noah and daddy also went swimming in the pool. Noah loved splashing in the water and playing with his sunglasses.
We took Noah for a short hike in the Santa Cruz mountains in a backpack. We weren't sure how he would like being in one of those things, but he seemed to find it very relaxing ... (see below)

We took Noah with us to San Francisco for the Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon. The day before the race we went to Chrissy Field and hung out on a dog beach. Noah loved it! He finally paid attention to the ocean, but I think it was because there were a bunch of dogs swimming in it. Noah would run after them yelling "doggie doggie doggie!" He also enjoyed throwing and eating the sand ...

This past weekend we took Noah to a pumpkin patch in Wilton with our Chavorah. When he saw all the pumpkins on the ground he started saying "baah, baaah, baah" which is how he says "ball." He then tried to pick them all up ...

Noah also met some goats and would point at them and say "doggie". One of them tried to eat his finger and he didn't particularly enjoy that. He also did not enjoy the chickens.

We went on a hayride and he mostly liked that and of course, tried to eat the hay ...
He loved going in the pumpkin wagon!

I was very surprised that we were able to get all of the kids to stand behind the cut-out, but they did pretty great!

From left to right: Noah, Isaiah, Natalie and Jonah

Happy Birthday!

2009-09-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

Our little boy turned one today! It's amazing to think about how fast this last year has gone. So cliche to say "it feels like only yesterday ..." but it does! I was in the kitchen yesterday, getting ready for the day and this little person walked by me. So amazing.

Part of me feels very excited to begin the next stage in Noah's journey, our family journey really, but part of me wants to slow down a bit ... I'm like this with most things though. I wish I could fast forward to the end and then go back and experience it all for reals. Part of it is that I hate the anticipation of not knowing how everything is going to go down and the other part of it is that I'm just really excited! I have very little patience...

I remember

bringing Noah home and he was so little and floppy and now he's walking around and talking...this morning he got off the bed all by himself. His first real word with association is "doggie" and he is also really into bubbles. He points to the bubbles and says "bubbies!" It's pretty cute. His car seat is now facing forward and it's so funny to turn around and see his chubby little face looking back at me.

I had a minor meltdown last night after trying to make a special birthday cake for him and failing miserably. So today I'm trying to be calm and remind myself that Noah won't even remember this so it's okay if it's not perfect ... but if I'm being honest, that's so not what's going to happen. He only has one first birthday and he's not going to have half-baked cake with chunky, blue, runny icing ... that's just not okay.

It's so amazing that this little person is now this little person! He's grown and changed so much in just one year ... he has almost all of his teeth. I love listening to his big, belly laughs and I love seeing him experience new things. He loves being outside and loves Louis and Gary. His face lights up when he's in the water and when I pick him up from daycare he comes toddling over to me with his arms in the air. Nothing makes me happier than picking him up and having him wrap his chubby arms around me...it makes leaving him during the day worth it.

I'm going to stay positive and patient in anticipation of all the next fun experiences we're going to have ... and I'm going to go and bake another non-gross first birthday cake.

Escape Artist

2009-09-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

Working On The House With My Daddy

2009-09-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

Dirt

2009-09-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

I love to garden with my daddy ...

Noah's August Photospread

2009-09-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

Shakin' my maraca!

Noah's Island Paradise ...

Me and my maraca ... hanging out on my island paradise.

Havin' some "O's" with my Nana.

Reaching for my "O's"

Got some "O's"!

Sleepy time! Ni-Ni!!!

Hangin' with my pal Gary before school.

I've got Batman, sunglasses and my whisk...what more does a little dude need?

Me and my whisk...

Noah's new skills

2009-09-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

On August 14th I was standing at the counter in the kitchen baking a cake ... I was listening to Noah crawl back and forth over Gary, one of his favorite things to do these days. All of a sudden I turned and there he was, standing, holding his whisk and his spoon. Noah stood in the middle of the kitchen for several seconds and then sat himself back down as if it was totally normal and then proceeded to crawl back and forth across Gary some more ...

Noah took his first steps on August 27th and it's only a matter of time before he's running all over the place. He has been taking more and more steps ever since, but he's not entirely confident in his walking abilities yet and still uses objects to cruise from here to there.

Here are some new videos:

Noah "walking" click here
Noah and Gary click here
Noah and his nectarine click here
Noah and the gate click here (kinda long but worth it to watch til the end)

Happy Birthday Evelyn!

2009-08-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

Our friend Evelyn turned 1 last week ... we had a lot of fun at her birthday party. Noah didn't get to eat cake, but he enjoyed watching Evelyn.

Acceptance

2009-08-08T07:16:00.000-07:00

Plus Three Teeth, Minus One Beard

2009-08-08T06:17:00.000-07:00

It feels like fall this week ... maybe it's because I've spent the last week in the school library or maybe it's because the weather, but I feel like sharpening pencils and buying lunch boxes with cartoon characters on them. I'm sure I wrote about this before, but there is something so special and distinct about the feeling of fall and I love it. Sacramento in the fall is so amazing, maybe it's because it's the "city of trees" and so all of the leaves change and fall or maybe because the fall is the start of our family's celebration season, who knows? I just know it feels special. All of the Jewish holidays and the birthday celebrations that happen in September feel like they are connectors to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Maybe I'm so excited about Fall because this Summer has been so off ... I hate to call it awful, because I have been able to spend so much time with Noah and that has been amazing. But, Greg's injury did sour things. He is doing great now and is sans casts and stitches and his big poofy beard (he decided he wasn't going to trim his beard after the accident, until he could do 5 push-ups). He's been able to hold Noah and even change diapers! I honestly don't know how single mothers do this, or how people have more than one ... needless to say it's amazing to have my husband back! Not just because he can change diapers, but because not having him around was lonely and him not being able to hold Noah or play with him was sad.

Noah is changing so much right before my eyes. He is getting 3 more teeth and his hair is getting thicker (or just darker). He crawls so fast and is getting into everything. He's very curious and loves opening and closing cabinets and doors. He's still our little water bug and loves to stick his face in the water and blow bubbles. He is babbling more than ever and still calling everything "ma-ma" but he also says "da-da" and "doggie-doggie". The girls at daycare thought he was talking to another baby in his class named "Doug" which I thought was very cute.

I love dropping him off at daycare. Not because I'm leaving him with other people, but because the buildings all seem happy. Children's toys are waiting outside and there are little smiling faces and girls with pigtails waiting inside the fenced playards. Kids crafts made out of sticks and paint line the walls and there's a sandwich board with notes to the parents, which reminds me of elementary school. I loved elementary school! I loved Deterding and never wanted to leave it. I couldn't wait to get to move up to the hill to the big kid playground, I loved back-to-school night, art class, recess and playing sports on the big field. I remember walking to school every morning and cutting across the giant soccer field to get to my classroom. Mr. Coleman's class was my favorite; I used to tell my mom that I wanted to stay in 3rd grade forever.

Noah no longer cries when I drop him off at school and when I get there to pick him up, he hears my voice and quickly crawls over to the gate and lifts his arms up for me to hold him. Noah gives great hugs and when I pick him up he grabs onto my left side and wraps his chubby little arms around my neck. It's one of my favorite feelings in the whole world!

Hard at Work ... When I Grow Up I Want To Be Just Like My Daddy

2009-07-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

My favorite sound

2009-07-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

Noah is almost 10 months old and I'm still amazed when I look at him; I made that! He's getting bigger and bigger, at his last appointment about a week ago he weighed 21lbs. He's been saying lots of words, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't really know what they mean. He says "momma," "nana", "doggie" (which I think is his favorite word), "bubbles" and he still says "dada" too. He loves spinning himself in circles while he's sitting. He even does it in the bathtub.

Tonight Noah and I played tag around the house. He would make me chase him while he crawled from room to room and I would say "I'm gonna get you" and he would laugh and giggle at how funny he thought he was. It was pretty cute. Once I would catch him I would run the other direction and hide behind a corner and he would then come and find me. I think I could have played that game forever ... listening to him laugh is my favorite sound in the whole world.

So sleepy...

2009-07-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how much my little boy has grown ... he's spilling over the sides of the car seat! This was him after I picked him from daycare ... apparently he had too much fun.

The Walking Wounded

2009-07-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

Gary finally came home on the Fourth of July. He had been staying at my mom and Ed's house while Greg was healing. So, he came home with us on Saturday and on Sunday we all went to the park to play "chuck-it" with Gary. It only lasted a few throws when we noticed that Gary's foot was bleeding ... we tended to the wound as best we could (please note the pampers wrapped around the paw).We took him to the vet on Monday and it turns out he had an infected toe nail and an ear infection, so now he's in the cone of shame. Poor Gary ... welcome home buddy.

Perth Way Parade

2009-07-07T06:11:00.001-07:00

I love the Fourth of July! I know I say I love all the holidays, but this one really is a favorite. I've been doing the Fourth of July Fun Run in River Park ever since I moved back to Sacramento after college in 2000. This year I had to run it without Greg, but it was still fun. I pushed Noah through the shady streets with Leah and Evelyn. Last year we came in dead last, so it was nice to be able to run and finish it in a reasonable time.

We also went to my mom and Ed's house for the Yellow Dog Cup, which is another favorite. It was so much fun to share the holiday with Noah. I'm pretty sure he won't remember it, but I'm sure he'll grow to love the traditions that my mom and Ed have created. This year they added the "1st Annual Fourth of July Perth Way Parade." Noah got to sit in a decorated wagon and we all marched up and down the driveway ...it was silly, but my mom has a way of making everything special.

Ever since I can remember my mom made sure all of our holidays were special; even the small ones. She would put jelly beans in our cereal for Valentine's Day, we searched for Easter eggs throughout the yard and the house, even when I was grown and we always celebrated the 4th of July. I remember walking up Palm Drive to watch the parade and I remember setting off fireworks. It was always festive and always special.

It was so much fun watching Noah get the same experiences that I had when I was younger...the parade, the food and even the fireworks.

Yeah Noah!!!

2009-06-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

Noah has a new trick ... he has learned to clap! Click here to watch him in action.

The view from up here ...

2009-06-21T21:28:00.000-07:00

Since Greg was hit by the minivan I've been a little frazzled to say the least ... I'm remembering how much running can help me. Not just because it helps relieve my stress, or because it helps balance all of the cookies that I've been eating because people really like to bake you cookies when you break things, but it also just makes me happy ... this is the view from where I run. How could I not smile with these two running with me?

Oh Minivan, How I Wish You Hadn't Run My Husband Over

2009-06-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

Just over a week ago I was lying on the couch feeding Noah, waiting for Greg to be home. It was one of the first weeknights I had been home since summer school had started and I was counting down the days until our summer, our freedom, would finally begin. When I finished feeding Noah, I grabbed my phone and I had 4 messages. The first was from Greg telling me he was just leaving work. The next one was from Greg telling me he was going to ride home, but why couldn't he get a hold of me. The third one was from Greg and it went like this ..."Jules, its me. I don't know why I can't get a hold of you, uh...I was just hit by a car. I'm lying on the street at 39th and Folsom. I think I broke my wrist and they called 911...the paramedics are coming." That was so not the message I was expecting or wanting to hear!

Greg was hit by a minivan while riding his bike home from work on Thursday evening. He was in the ER most of the night and then spent the next day in the hospital. He broke his right wrist and his left clavicle, which means he can't do too much. He's going to be having surgery on his shoulder on Monday and he has a pretty blue cast on his right arm. Both injuries are going to take about 6-8 weeks of recovery, plus physical therapy.

At first I was okay ...I postponed my crim pro exam, but knew the longer it was postponed, the less likely it would be that I would retain any of the information I had learned in the class. I never expected to have to take care of both Noah and Greg in a similar way, and I'm sure its no fun for Greg to need my help in doing everything.

The woman who hit Greg is a nurse at UCDavis where they took Greg. She was very upset by the whole thing, but the more I think about her, the angrier I become. I know she didn't hit him on purpose, I don't think she's a horrible person, but she's up and moving and probably hugging her kids and her husband. She's probably working and still driving around.

I'm upset that the first free time, otherwise known as "time without law school", that Greg and I were going to have together since before having Noah is now going to be spent with Greg's arms strapped to his chest or in casts. I know that we'll be okay, we have tons of help and support, another bonus of living this close to your family, but its still annoying.

I'm mostly sad because Greg can't hold Noah...he can't feel how strong Noah's legs are getting when he pulls himself up on you and jumps up and down. He is missing feeling how much more hair Noah is getting on his head and how sharp his little baby teeth are (not that that is a bad thing, because those things are like miniature daggers and should be sold on the black market to ninjas or something). He can't have Noah give him high fives, which is his latest thing...he's missing bath time, tickle time, diaper time, everything!

I know in the grand scheme of things, it could be much much worse, but that doesn't matter to me right now. What matters is that I'm missing my husband and my husband is missing 6-8 weeks of holding his 9 month-old son. That's a long time in babyland. Noah will be 10 1/2 months by the time Greg is able to really hold Noah again. Noah is taking up half of me, by the time Greg is able to throw him up in the air, Noah might be the size of Greg!

Words can't explain how grateful I am that his injuries weren't more serious because my world and my life are so much better with Greg in it. Thank god for bike helmets!

Bribery

2009-06-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

I think Noah and Gary are going to become fast friends ...

Click here.

Welcome Old Friend

2009-06-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

I was going through our videos on the Flip Video and found this one of Noah watching Ellen DeGeneres. Greg and I saw Ellen do stand-up in San Francisco several years ago, it was right before she started her TV show. We laughed so hard we were crying for most of the show. We used to TiVo her show when it first started and we would watch it everyday, but then something must have happened because it stopped recording ... probably something to do with Directv, I blame them for everything.

One of the only pregnancy meltdowns I had involved Directv ... it was August, I was very pregnant and I had been waiting all summer for the Bones premiere (yes, I get THAT excited about fall television premieres). We also had just gotten a new flat screen and HDTV and was super excited. Needless to say, when I went to watch it, the whole thing was gray. No picture, no sound, nothing!

I made Greg call them while I sat in the background cursing and muttering obscenities. None of this made Bones appear in my DVR. I was so upset that I cried about it and I'm not a big "cryer." My family says that I don't have tear ducts, but that's not true, I cry, but only about very important things, like Fall TV:) Anyway, so, I blame directv for us not recording Ellen anymore.

After having Noah and not working, it was nice to reconnect with my old show and nice to see that Noah has good taste.

This was back in March. Click here.

Mmmmmmmmm Cheerios!

2009-06-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

Noah has started finger foods this week. Yesterday he had peas, which he liked, but he had a hard time picking them up. He also had a teething biscuit, which he also enjoyed, but he dropped it, so Gary got it. Today he had Cheerios...he loved his cheerios!

I just took a bath with a sea horse

2009-06-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

A lot has changed in the last two weeks ... I started a new job, Noah has started pulling himself up on everything, he got his first big fever, his first ER visit, daycare, separation anxiety and finger foods. Noah broke out into a high fever on Wednesday, so I rushed home from class. His fever was 103.7 and he was so hot and sad looking. I felt awful, there was nothing we could do. Apparently the doctor's don't see babies his age until the fever is over 105! They said to monitor, nurse and give him tylenol. What does monitor mean!?!?

He went to the doctor on Thursday, he was diagnosed with a throat virus. He went to the doctor on Friday and they said something similar. Saturday the fever broke and he got a rash and then around 3:00pm he started crying every 2-10 minutes for most of the night. We called the doctor because he seemed to be in a great deal of pain in his abdomen and the doctor said we needed to go to the ER. He cried for most of he time while we waited in the ER, the grossest place EVER, and then as soon as we got to see the doctor Noah was a complete angel. The doctor said nothing was wrong with him and that the rash should go away on its own and we should see our pediatrician before we could start daycare. As soon as we left the ER the crying started again ... Sunday morning we went back to the pediatrician's office and he looked at him for a couple of minutes and determined that Noah had baby measles roseola. He said he should be fine in a couple of days...we got home and the crying started again around the same time and he fussed for most of the evening. So I called the doctor again, yes, I'm a bit insane, I call the doctor a lot and he said the abdominal pain could be something else, but it will probably go away on its own ... not very helpful.

Its so hard when Noah seems to be so unhappy and so uncomfortable and he can't tell us what hurts and the doctor's don't really know, but just say "it should go away on its own." I decided that his crying is one of my least favorite sounds.

Noah did not start daycare on Monday. Instead he stayed home with his grammy and his nana. He was still a bit fussy, but by Tuesday morning, I felt like I had my little boy back again. He was smiley again and playful ... until we went to daycare.

That's not to say that daycare was bad or that it went poorly, but Noah showed his first signs of separation anxiety. I know everyone told me that it would be difficult and that I would cry. I didn't cry, but when I left him on Wednesday he was screaming and that was one of the worst sounds I have ever heard!

Daycare went okay ... I'm convinced that the daycare ladies don't like me and that they think I'm a bad mommy because I didn't get the doctor to sign the "ointment" form or pack more frozen breastmilk or breakfast. But, in my defense, we don't really use ointment and Noah hasn't been eating as much because he was sick last week. I explained that, but I still think they thought I was lame, not that it matters because they seem to really like Noah.

It was a bit scary leaving him on the first day. Not because I was worried something would happen to him ... its hard to explain. I set him down on the floor with the other little babies and he seemed curious, but shy. He reached for the toys around him and crawled around and then looked for me. He had never really had a problem going to someone else, or being held by other people before. It was almost flattering that he needed me and that he missed me, but it broke my heart to have to leave him. It was like watching the new kid on a playground; hoping the other kids like him and that they won't pick on him or that one of them will share their snack. I know its different because they are infants, but you know what I mean.

My mom loves to tell the story of my first day of kindergarten. Apparently there was a tray of donut holes. I went up grabbed a handful and then fell asleep under a table. Noah didn't grab any donut holes or fall asleep under a table. He watched the little boy sitting in the basket and crawled over to him to see what he was doing. He grabbed on to the side of the basket and then crawled back over to me.

I'm glad that I'm only working part-time right now and I'm glad I'm able to ease him into the daycare situation because I'm not so sure I can handle more crying after last week's crying spells.

For now, I'm enjoying the new challenges and exciting changes that are happening in my family. Noah's growth and happy smiles. Today I went to take a bath the bathtub was still filled with Noah's toys ... so today I took a bath with a squishy sea horse and froggy sponge. Things have definitely changed.

Big Belly Laughs

2009-05-25T20:30:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine sent me this picture from when I was pregnant and she said "remember when Noah was BHR?" Doesn't that seem so long ago ... it was only 8 months ago, but it feels like forever.

He's already grown so much, but still feels so small. He's looking at me right now, while I type this and saying "Duh-d0-da" and eating my backpack. I love it when he sees me looking at him and then picks his head up real high and smiles. His smile is so pure and so genuine and makes me happier than anything I can imagine.

Another new thing that Noah does is making his lips go "buh-dee, buh-dee, buh-dee" with his fingers. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

Noah is laughing at everything these days. I don't always know what he's laughing at, but his laugh makes me smile. I love hearing Greg and Noah in the other room. Greg will pepper Noah's tummy with kisses and zerberts and Noah will laugh and giggle big belly laughs. It's my new favorite sound.

New Pictures

2009-05-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

I love swinging at Nana and Papa's!

Look at how cute I am in my hat.

I look very Himovitzy in this picture, don't you think?

almost 8 months and very busy

2009-05-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

Noah is almost 8 months old and he's been quite busy ... last week he started officially crawling. He loves to chase after Gary and Lou Lou. In fact, his face lights up when he sees either of them. Gary is getting better with him, he doesn't always run when Noah grabs onto his fur, but he doesn't hang out for very long.

Noah also loves water bottles. Whenever he sees my blue, camelback bottle his face lights up and his arms flap up and down. He can suck the water out of the sippy straw, but half of it dribbles back out. He loves his sippy cup, but I think he prefers my water bottle more.

Nana and Papa just hung a new swing in their front yard and Noah loves it! He also loves splashing in water and feeling grass ... but not at the same time.

He's keeping me busy and I'm so excited to see what he's going to do next ... I start work next week, I hope I don't miss anything!

Freedom ... kinda

2009-05-15T09:29:00.001-07:00

I finished my last exam for the year last night. I don't know if I passed, but I felt relieved and free and excited and tired...I felt like celebrating, and what better way to celebrate than to eat a burrito the size of your head? So, last night I celebrated by eating a giant burrito and watching some Thursday night television. It was lovely, and even though my freedom only lasts until Monday, when summer school begins, I'm happy.

A friend of mine in school, who had a baby about 3 weeks before exams, yes she's amazing, said to me last night, "I feel like Luke (her son) will be born tomorrow, in a way, Noah will be too." I thought about it, and it's kinda' true. Although I feel so happy to have had all this time with, I have never had a time where there wasn't school .... so even though this break is short, I'm excited to spend it with Noah watching him grow and change before my eyes. Right now I'm watching him try and pull himself up using the coffee table. It makes me happy and then it makes me realize how much we need to do to the house to get it ready for all of these exciting changes...

In the meantime, here are some new Noah videos, a perfect way to start my morning ...

Noah's new instrument - here

Nana Melmo's Latest Medley - here

Just because I'm cute ...

2009-05-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs embarrassing tushy pictures

2009-05-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Swimming with my daddy

2009-05-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

Seven and a Half Months with Seven and a Half Teeth

2009-05-07T10:44:00.001-07:00

So I woke up this morning to someone, I don't want to name names, but it rhymes with Shmoah, sticking their finger in my nose. Someone, and again, I don't want to name names, but it ryhmes with Shmoah, has decided that he doesn't like sleeping through the night, so Greg will bring him into bed so I can feed him. Then, we falls asleep for an hour or so and wakes up again to eat. It's a pretty exhausting cycle.

Noah is changing so much. Yesterday he started doing the military crawl across the hardwood floor. Right now I'm watching him pull himself across the carpet, desparately trying to catch Gary. He has yet another tooth coming in, which makes eight total. Four on the top and four on the bottom.

I've been in exams for the last week and a half, or what feels like forever, and I am missing Noah terribly. Yesterday I thought he was finally mad at me for being gone so much, so I rushed home before an exam just to see him. I think we're cool now, but I haven't left for school yet, so we'll see.

He's going to be starting Shalom School in less than month. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle being away from him, luckily it won't be full-time and I will be able to go and see him during my lunches too. I'm sure it will be harder for me than for him, but I guess I never realized all of the stuff I miss when I'm not around during the day.

Noah seems more inquisitive these days. Whereas before he would just smile at almost anything, now he has to explore it and check it out before he approves and flashes his pearly smile of 7 1/2 teeth. I took him to the co-op this morning and all of the "natural" people wanted to smile at him and make silly faces and he just sat in the cart and stared at them. He has a low stare that he likes to give people, almost as if he's already a teenager and he thinks you're being ridiculous. I know that stare well, I give it often.

So back to the teething and sleeping ... I think that's what is affecting his sleep. We had one night, where it seemed like all of his teeth were in and everything is cool and he slept almost through the night, only waking once for a brief period. But then, I think this 8th one decided to make its first appearance, and its been down hill ever since.

Maybe Noah's teeth are like my exams? He has eight in and only twelve to go. They'll come in stages and the mollars will be the most difficult. I have three more this semester and then one more year and then the bar...lame how everything comes back to exams. I'm ready for a break!!!

6 Plus Months

2009-04-07T19:30:00.001-07:00

Noah passed 6 months and I am so behind in writing about his milestones ... just last Friday I saw Noah's 3rd tooth and just yesterday I felt a 4th! He started swim lessons with Greg and while he didn't "love it" he didn't hate it either and I think that's a success. To see a video of his first swim lesson click here.

He's growing up so fast and while I never wanted to be a mom that said things like that, I guess people say it so much because its so very true. At his last appointment he weighed 18.6lbs and was 28 inches long. I'm only 61 inches, and I'm 30 ... he's going to pass me very soon. Well not very soon, but you get that I'm exaggerating to emphasize my point and that is, he's a big dude.

He's rolling around on his tummy all the time and he's making "dadada, duh-duh" noises and he's getting really good at eating his solids. On Saturday we started giving him green beans, but I don't think he likes them very much. He makes a gagging face and looks at me like "what the F did you just put in my mouth? I trusted you for christ's sake!" I think he likes it better when it is warmed a little, but so far he prefers the rice cereal and sweet potatoes. Next is going to be applesauce.

So, I can't believe he's 6 months old! That's half of a year! It feels like I was just rolling myself out of bed and waddling into the lecture rooms for class. Last night I was looking at the line on my tummy from where my belly first started protruding; the place that housed and grew him for 10 months (I know they say 9 months, but that's a lie, it's 40 weeks. You have to go all the way to the end of the 9th month, which is really just 10, so they should just call it that, but that's a different entry). Anyway, that line is so strange. It's not a real line, it's really just a fat wrinkle on my tummy, but I like to refer to it as a "line" because its less offensive to my already low self esteem about my current weight and squishiness.

The line is my badge of honor for carrying and creating Noah, and its hard to imagine my life without him, but at the same time it's hard to adjust to my life with him. My day-to-day life is not very eventful, but I know I'm exhausted at the end of it and emptying the dishwasher or putting a new roll of toilet paper on the toilet paper wheel thingy makes me feel like I've accomplished something. I never thought playing with a baby would be harder than any job I've ever had or any marathon I've ever run ... really just harder than anything I've ever tried. But ultimately, it's way more rewarding.

Law and Ethics

2009-04-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Noah was very interested in the Law and Ethics ... makes studying a little more difficult when a 6 month old is trying to help turn the pages.

Solids

2009-03-28T15:16:00.001-07:00

We started Noah on solid foods a few weeks ago. At first he didn't really get it and then he just tolerated it. He would open his mouth and then close real fast and everything would come spilling out. We started with rice cereal and then we tried to introduce avocado ... he was not a fan of the avocado! He would gag and then slowly spit it all out.

Today we are starting sweet potatoes. Let's hope it goes better than the avocado...

Monkey Cakes, Circus Tents and Chocolate Cake Crumbles

2009-03-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight we are celebrating Ed's bday. So, since I've been super into baking, I volunteered to bake the cake. I don't know if its because I feel super maternal or what, but I have really been enjoying baking. I can't wait til I can bake Noah's birthday cakes and watch him blow out his candles.

My mom used to make me really special cakes. One of them was in the shape of my favorite stuffed animal, Lee. He's a giant gorilla that I still sleep with. He's named after Leonardo Da Vinci and I called him Leonardo Da Monkey, even though he's a gorilla. She also got me one in the shape of an old english sheep dog and my other favorite stuffed animal, a pound puppy. I loved celebrating my birthday when I was a kid. My mom would go all out; Rainbow Bright even came to one of my parties, and we played parachute and then Julie Barnet stepped in dog poo and when we ran across the parachute she got poop on it and everytime we'd lift the parachute up and down there was a hint of doo - doo, but that didn't matter. When I got older I would have slumber parties and we'd swim and put on makeup and do our hair. I remember my mom and I picking out all of the "Wet 'n Wild" colors at the grocery store and I felt so important and so special.

My birthday always felt special when I was a kid because I would get to celebrate it twice. Once at my mom's and once at my dad's. I remember one birthday my dad was really proud of the cake he made. It was 4 or 5 layers and he mixed chocolate and vanilla frosting together and then covered it in decorative icing. There was read and blue curls of that really gross icing all over it, it looked like a circus tent. I remember loving that cake.

Something out baking is very comforting and very soothing. Its nice to see something from start to finish that doesn't take 6-9 months to train for, or 4 years to graduate and then another 3 months to study and take a 3-day exam (oh law school ... I will finish and conquer you too, just you wait!). When you take something out of the oven, it's like having a to do list and getting to check off a little box, it's very satisfying.

So, last night I made Ed a chocolate cake ... I won't go in detail about it, because I want it to be a surprise, but let's just say, I wish I could eat chocolate right now, because I would eat the S outta' this thing! Just me, my couch and a fork, and it'd be a party.

It feels really nice to be able to bake things and have them actually turn out. When I was younger I had one of those "Easy Bake Ovens" that would cook things with the light bulb. All you had to do was add water to some mix and then pour it in the pan and voila, there was supposed to be something edible and tasty. Alas, mine were always kind of gross and not very edible. I used to love baking with my mom, but that was really more my mom baking and me helping, so it doesn't count that those things always tasted good.

There was one summer in college. I had come home for the summer and I was staying with my mom and Ed. It was the summer in between my junior and senior year I think. I didn't really have any friends left in town, so I was kinda bored and mopey. So, one day I decided to bake a chocolate cake. Ed volunteered to help me, I think it was because he felt bad for me because I was pretty lame. We mixed everything and measured everything and then put in the pans and baked it... We took the pans out of the oven and let them cool, and then we turned them over they wouldn't come out of the pans. It was so sad. Just chocolate cake crumbles. So, we sat there and picked at the edible part and I felt very defeated.

So tonight, let's hope this cake is better than the chocolate cake crumbles, because at least this one came out of the pan!

Giant Block of Cheese ... Can't Wait To Sit On You.

2009-03-27T20:22:00.000-07:00

Today my mom, Ed and I took Noah to Fairytale Town. Yes, I know he's too young to do anything on his own, but he likes to be outside and he likes looking at things. Must be amazing to be a baby. Everything is new and everything is exciting.

Fairytale Town was so much fun! I remembered going there when I was a kid. Everything seemed so magical and big. It was different this time ... I imagined what Noah will think of everything when he gets older. I loved the pumpkin carriage and the crooked mile. I wonder what Noah will like the most?

I can't wait to see his face when he climbs the giant slides for the first time or when he sits on the giant block of cheese.

Welcome back you tasty beast!

2009-03-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight I made my tasty sangwich from when I was pregnant ... the one with the whole wheat roll, avocado, lettuce, honey mustard, turkey bacon and egg. This time I added sliced turkey and unfortunately some soy cheese. I have to say, it was just as good as I remembered. Even with the soy cheese! Apparently it wasn't just the pregnancy that made that sangwich tasty, it's actually just a tasty sangwich. Welcome back friend, you were missed.

Toys, Watermelon and a tasty Sangwich

2009-03-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

Spring is here and all I want to do is sit in grass with Noah and Gary and buy purple nail polish. (I don't know what the deal with the nail polish is.) It feels like a bird is going to land on my shoulder and wrap a shmata on my head while I'm walking down the street...

My new favorite thing to do with Noah and Gary is to walk to the park and sit on the grass. We play "chuck-it" with Gary and Noah rolls back and forth on his tummy and feels the grass between his fingers. I can't wait til Noah is able to walk along side me...I picture us with a wagon. We could pile in all of Noah's toys and sandwiches, of course there has to be sandwiches, and we will drink lemonade, eat watermelon hunks and watch Gary run back and forth chasing the tennis ball.

I've been putting Noah in the baby swings at the park. He seems to really like it. He likes going up and back and when his little face comes towards me I smile at him and laughs and smiles back. I remember swinging on the swings and my favorite thing to do was see how high I could go and then jump off. I'm pretty sure there's no way I would ever jump off of a swing these days, but the thought still sounds fun, and it reminds me of spring.

Noah and I have been lots of fun together. He's so alert and wants to see everything around him. It makes feeding time very difficult because he likes to stop and look around ... he stops and looks at me and while its very sweet that he wants to smile at me, it's strange because my boob is sort of hanging out of his mouth. Yes, its natural, but in the end, that's still my boob and I don't really wanna "check it out."

Noah likes to watch the animals, neither of whom are interested in him. Well, actually, Gary is interested in him, but mostly in his departure. He's actually getting better with Noah. He's starting to sit next to him for longer stretches. Now that Noah is able to sit up on his own, Gary isn't as scared to be near him. But if you try and force them together or make Noah sit on Gary's back like a horse, Gary freaks out. Maybe that's why people shouldn't try and ride dogs? I think it'll get better soon, especially when Noah can pet and play with Gary ... Gary will enjoy the extra attention.

I'm sure Gary won't mind Noah when we're able to put his chuck-it in our wagon with the toys, watermelon and sandwiches...it'll be called the "Sangwich Express." Not sure what our theme song will be though.

Cheerios, Donut Holes, Purple Nail Polish and another .8 lbs ...

2009-03-19T09:56:00.001-07:00

It's been a while ... not because nothing has been going on in the life of mommyhood, but really, I just haven't had the time. Noah is a lot of fun and I'm loving every minute I get to spend with him, well...almost every minute. Teething hasn't been so much fun. Noah has two bottom teeth and the doctor's think the next two are on their way.

School is still going on and I'm not on spring break. Ft. Lauderdale here I come! If by Ft. Lauderdale you mean Weight Watchers and then the park ... so yes, I am doing Weight Watchers. I hadn't really been doing anything except weighing in mostly and I had lost almost all of my baby weight until last week ... I was only 5 lbs away from my prepregnancy weight. I was so excited, feeling so confident. Thinking "this is so easy! I can eat whatever I want and the weight is just coming off ... as long as I'm breastfeeding and running, I'll be fine." Then, I got on the scale and I was up 2lbs. WTF?

So, I decided it was time to really pay attention. I had to stop baking all of my tasty, sugary treats and start watching what I was eating. I even tracked everything ... so today, Noah and I marched into the meeting with all of our stuff (mostly his stuff, but whatever, he'll get me back later) and I stepped up on the scale looking for that 2lb loss and to my dismay I had gained! Yes, GAINED, again!!!

There I was surrounded by all the old ladies (I think I go to the senior meeting) and they are all cooing and gooing at Noah and I had gained yet again ... could it have been the four bowls of cereal that I ate? No, that couldn't be it ... perhaps it was the 4 donut holes I ate after running the Shamrock? That couldn't be it, because hello, I just ran 13.1 miles. Nope, it had to be that I was pregnant again ...

In my mind the only explanation was pregnancy ... pregnancy made more sense than donut holes and cereal. So, Noah and I stood in line at the Longs while the checker tried to ask me probing questions about how old Noah was and then tell me how cute he is when I said "he's only 6 months." I know she was thinking, "6 months and already another baby?!?" Well look lady, I jsut gained another .8lbs, I have no time for your shenanigans, just put the pee sticks and the purple nail polish in the bag and let me go. (I couldn't just buy the pee sticks, I had to act casual, like I'm just here picking up a few necessities ... pee sticks, check. Purple nail polish check).

Just peed on a stick and there was only one line ... must have been the cheerios, because thank god I'm NOT pregnant! Yes, this is how neurotic I am. I would rather be pregnant again than stop eating all of my carbs ...

Not that having another baby is bad ... but I can barely keep up with Noah and law school, I'm not ready to start this again. Although, I was thinking the other day, I can now see what people mean when they say "you'll forget the bad stuff about pregnancy and labor, and you'll be ready to do it again." I can see that, but I'm not there ... maybe after I lose the .8lbs that I gained AGAIN. Maybe after law school, maybe after the bar, maybe after a job ... maybe sooner than that, who knows. Until then, I think I'll go and eat a bowl of cereal.

New Videos of Noah

2009-02-16T12:25:00.000-08:00

Noah and the burp cloth click here.

Noah singing with Daddy click here.

Noah waking up in the morning click here.

Noah has an itchy head click here.

Noah and Mommy play peekaboo click here.

Greg and Noah make a Channukah message click here.

Gary and Noah watching some Baby Beethoven click here.

Gary is very excited click here.

Resolution Run 2009

2009-01-04T20:44:00.001-08:00

We started the new year by running the Resolution Run in Auburn. I've been running this race the last few years and its hard to imagine that it was just last year I was pregnant with Noah. It's such a nice way to start the new year, I can't wait til Greg, Noah and I can run it together!

Giant Giraffe, Get in My Mouth!

2009-01-04T20:01:00.001-08:00

Here's the latest on what's going on in our house ... at his last check-up Noah weighed 14 lbs and 13 ounces. Noah has been drooling like crazy lately and sticking his hands, and anything else he can grab, in his mouth. We learned that this could be a sign that he is teething.

He hasn't been too fussy since I changed my diet, however the last couple days he has been extremely fussy. Greg and I were both searching online for information and I of course called the doctor's office. They basically told me what I read online, which is really annoying, because why did I sit on hold for 25 minutes? So, Noah is teething ...

After I spoke with the doctor's office we searched for a teething ring...long story short, the one that we found was bad (not BPA free, which is basically kiddie poison ... when you go to the store and you buy the non BPA free stuff I feel like the person at the checkout is looking at you like "How could you give that to your baby?!?! Are you trying to poison the kid!?!?", so I don't buy that stuff whenever possible.) So, off to Goores we went ...

The teething rack had several options ... teethers that enhance touch and taste, BPA free, butterflies, raspberries, ridges, cooling sections, vibrating strawberry teethers, it's a bit overwhelming. So I just decided we needed one of everything! Then a couple walked by and recommended a giant giraffe teether, so we added that one as well. Greg and I know own 5 different teethers. Including a giant giraffe, a raspberry, a vibrating strawberry, a cooling ring and a butterfly. Let's hope it helps, cause I hate hearing Noah cry:(

Thrrrrppppp, Bddeeepppp and The Academy of Sciences

2008-12-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

I finished my exams last night and now Greg, Noah and I are in San Francisco relaxing, shopping, going to Museums and eating. To see our trip to the Academy of Sciences click here.

Noah has started doing some fun new things ... here are some videos of what he's learned. Click here and here.

I'd write more, but after three exams, my brain is fried!

10 hours to go ... and then one more

2008-12-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

Oh law school exams, how I hate you so ... I think this was a very bad idea! 10 hours until my next exam. I'm still studying. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

Greg and Noah are all cuddled up in bed and I'm out here, surrounded by papers and outlines and supplements and books. Gary is keeping me company though and every now and then he whimpers and then wakes himself up. Then he'll wander over to me and I'll take a short study break and pet him and then back to the dormant commerce clause ... right now I really don't care about the constitution at all, in fact if the founders were here I think I might ask them to be a bit more precise in what they wanted people to do, because maybe then this exam wouldn't be so hard!

Okay, that killed about 3 minutes, so I should probably get back to it ... my last exam is on Wednesday and then I'll finally get a break!

Full Circle...

2008-12-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

I tanked yet another law exam yesterday and then today I ran the last leg of the CIM relay. This was almost where I was just one year ago? It seems so long ago...when Greg and I were in Italy we decided we were ready to have a baby. We thought about when; when would be a good time to start trying and how would we plan this? We tried to plan around school as best as possible, but more importantly we had to plan around my marathon schedule. I wanted to do one last CIM. So, last year after completing CIM, Greg and I went home and started "trying." Again, "trying" just means having sex and for anyone that has a run a marathon, you know how sore you are, so you can imagine how much fun that was. Noah was not conceived right after CIM, but it wasn't too long after. And thus, we began our journey to parenthood... (So now you all know what I did after my marathon).

While I was running today, I thought about where I was just last year ... last year I was without a baby, without Noah, and I was running a full 26.2 miles! How crazy is that? Thinking back to all of the other CIM's that I have run, I remembered the relay runners zoom past me and thinking that they were imposters. I remember thinking, "how dare you look tired" or "how dare you walk, you're only doing 6 miles!" So today, I felt like I needed a sign that said "it's okay if I look tired too, even though I'm running a little less than 6 miles, I just had a baby 10 weeks ago" but I think that would be a very long sign.

I saw a woman run by me, or maybe she was in front of me, I don't know ... but she was wearing spandex running pants and her butt was jiggling around and I thought "hmmm, maybe she should rethink those pants" and then I felt like an asshole because if her butt is jiggling and she's running a full marathon, what makes me think mine looks any better? I mean, I'm only doing 5.something-miles! This again reminded me of where I was just a year ago. When I used to run, I felt strong and running 10+ miles felt like an easy stroll in the park. I felt fit and maybe not completely firm, but the extra stuff, the "pregnancy build-up" that I have gained didn't exist.

I'm not completely delusional, I know my butt didn't used to be completely firm, but I can only imagine what it's doing back there now. I mean, let's face it, I was just pregnant and while I was pregnant I was sitting a lot. I'm also in law school, that too is a lot of sitting, besides that, now that I'm not pregnant, I'm still in law school, and now I'm breastfeeding and watching a baby, EVEN MORE SITTING! Shoot, my butt is probably flat and jiggly!!! So, after that realization, I apologized to "Spandex Girl" in my mind and then I ran faster ...

I decided I definitely have to do the marathon next year...I felt guilty when I was running. People were cheering on the sidelines "You're almost there!" and "You're looking strong, keep it up" and I thought "wow, that's very helpful, thank you ... I feel good and I CAN do this." And then I ran a little bit faster. The cheering and the signs were nice confidence boosters, even if they weren't actually for me.

When I ran over the J Street bridge, just after mile 21, there was a family on the other side holding a sign that said something about "go daddy" or "we're proud of our dad." How cool is that? I bet when he gets home from work there isn't a sign that says that. Why do we only have these "signs" and cheering for marathons and sporting events? Are the other times in our lives not as important? Maybe not as challenging? I know going to work might not be as hard as running a marathon, but certainly the things that we do in our everyday lives are no less worthy or important? Maybe if I had people writing "Go Julia! You can do it!" in chalk on campus, I would do better on my exams. Or maybe if there was a poster in the front of the exam room that said "keep it up, you're almost there" I would get that feeling that you get as you turn the corner at Manzanita and Fair Oaks, when you come out of that crowd of people and feel like "I'm totally doing this! And I feel awesome" and maybe then I wouldn't walk out of each exam thinking, "hope I didn't fail that...please let me pass, all I need is my C."

Being in law school has certainly humbled me much like a marathon. It reminds me that not everything is going to be easy, if it were, everyone would do it, right? Or maybe not, because honestly, do we really need more lawyers?

So, next year, I'll try and run the full marathon. Hopefully my butt will be less "jiggly" and hopefully Noah will be there cheering me on with a sign that says "go mommy." Because it was just one year ago that Greg and I began the process of "trying" to create him and he has become part of my life marathon that makes everyday important.

Some New Noah Videos ... You don't have to watch them all

2008-11-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

Noah might think something is funny...

Noah has a new do...

Sing it Nana!

Going to Nana's Bday

Chit chatting...

Soy cheese is not cheese...

2008-11-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

Noah and I went to the doctor today to check on his poop and see if my diet changes/sacrifices have worked...turns out its all been worth it! Noah's poop was blood-free! While the idea of eating soy cheese for the next 9 months makes me cringe, I know its all worth it because Noah is doing better...

Noah weighs 12.06lbs and is 23.5 inches long.

Hopefully ... waiting

2008-11-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night I was in Constitutional Law, at about 8:00pm someone shouted "Barrack Obama just won!" The class applauded, except for me because I feel weird about applauding things that aren't happening live in front of me, sort of like when people applaud in the movie theater, don't they know that the actors aren't actually in the screen... anyway it was an amazing moment. One that I'm sure I will never forget. History was made and more importantly I felt hopeful and excited ... maybe our country won't turn to complete shit afterall?

While I was excited and happy that the right person will be running our country, a good person, I am still completely shocked about Proposition 8! I have always felt special living in California. I felt like I was part of this open and tolerant place, a place that was teased about being liberal and I was proud. How could so many people around the country vote for hope and change and at the same time, so many people in California also vote for discrimination and bigotry?

I struggle with the idea of celebrating too much about how we have elected our first African-American President and at the same time my state has now openly discriminated against an entire group of people. California voted to give chickens and cows more rights, which I believe they deserve, but at the same time, same-sex couples watched their rights get taken away. Do people really value chickens more than people? We are the first state to openly discriminate against an entire group of people.

I think I'm still stunned ... still stunned that Prop 8 passed and that I have a right to marry and my dad still would not. What makes the love that I have with Greg so much more superior than someone else?

I was excited to a part of history on Tuesday night, I never actually believed that I would live to see an African American President in the White House. Maybe my son will get to live to be able to see same-sex couples get the same rights as everyone else, but I hope it doesn't take quite as long ...

I found this quote on the No on 8 site to be very insightful:

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.” Anne Lamott

I think I waited and watched too silently, maybe I didn't work hard enough and in fact, maybe I gave up. Because maybe I was just too presumptuous and I just assumed that everyone thought like me, that we all deserve the same rights and that there was no way that Prop 8 would pass, how could it? I'm hopeful that the dawn will come and everyone will have the same rights as everyone else.

Welcome Back Muscles, Goodbye Jiggly Bits

2008-11-06T17:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my first run back ... I met Leah at Fleet Feet and bought new shoes and then we met at her house. I was determined to do at least 3 miles. I didn't care how slow. I was so excited!

Noah and I trailed behind Leah and Evelyn the whole way, but it felt amazing! So much fun to be running again. So much fun to have Noah there to experience something that I love. I remember when I was a kid my mom used to take me along with her on her bike rides. I sat in a chair on the bike of the bike. I remember one time, I think we were going to pick up Lucas at school, and my mom was making a lasagna and I got to bring some of the extra noodles with me while I rode on the back of the bike. I remember feeling special ... I'm sure Noah won't remember being pushed around in the BOB, but hopefully this becomes something that I'm able to do for a while and then he'll look back like I did about the lasagna noodles and bike ...

Anyway, Leah and I ran around Land Park. We started out walking to the Park for about a mile and then "ran" another 3 and then walked back to her house. I was probably running slower than I did when I first started running in 2000. My body felt like it was moving so fast, but my mind new better. I saw my shadow moving along side of me and I'm pretty sure I could have stopped and walked and beat my own shadow, but I didn't really care because I was finally running!

Things were definitely jigglier than I remember and I don't remember my boobs being quite so heavy and bouncy before, but again, I was running, so it didn't matter. Things hurt and ached and I was breathing very hard. I couldn't wait for the street lights to turn red so that I could stop and wait, but it all felt amazing.

I'm not as sore as I thought I would be. The motions and the movements felt very familiar, so maybe some of muscles remember this feeling. It took me almost 5 years to get to the pace I was at before I got pregnant, I'm hoping it doesn't take that long again ...

Get out the vote ...

2008-11-04T13:30:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone remembered to vote today!

Spaghetti and Meatballs ...

2008-10-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid my mom used to make all of my Halloween costumes. She insists that she didn't make ALL of them, but she made most. I was a bunny, winnie the Pooh, a wookie, a cool cat and many other things. I remember going and picking out the patterns at the fabric store and I remember her spending time making the outfits and thinking of all of the details. The best costume that she ever made was actually for Lucas. He was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (I can't remember which one) and she made him an entire turtle shell out of paper plates. By the end of the night he lost the shell and was really just a green ninja, but his costume was still the coolest.

When I was 10 or 11 or maybe even 12 my girlfriends and I decided we were all going to be pigs. We even got cute pig masks. My mom and I went and bought pink fabric, pink tights and a little pink tail. She made me this giant pink sac that I wore with my arms and legs hanging out the sides and the bottom, I wore my hair in pigtails and then I put on my mask. When my girlfriends showed up for pictures only one of them was wearing the pig mask and even then, the rest of her dressed as a punk rocker. They were all wearing cute little jean skirts and ripped t-shirts with funky makeup ... it was as if they had crossed the puberty line into the "cool" costumes and I was still a little kid. I was all round and pink and they were cute and punk. Still, my mom and had fun making the costume and I felt special in my homemade get-up. We laugh about it a lot now and my mom says "how adorable" I looked, but I guess after a certain age you don't want to look adorable, you want to be cool ...

It is for this reason that I decided that I wanted to take a stab at making Noah's first Halloween costume. I probably won't have that many years to make him cute outfits and go to the trouble of finding just the perfect pig tail or ninja shell, right? The problem is, I'm not very crafty. In fact, even as a grown-up, Greg has made all of my costumes. One year we were Dorothy and Toto and the best ever was when we were Princess Leia (not princess Leia in the gold bikini, but the real Princess Leia, the white robe thingy Leia) and Yoda. Greg walked around on his knees all night. He tied green gardening gloves around his knees and glued fake nails on the ends so that they were toenails.
I already two costumes for Noah. I had decided that he was going to be a shark and he looked so perfect and cute in his little shark outfit. However, it's sorta' big on him and he just cries in it. We also have the pea pod costume, but I feel like everyone will have the pea pod costume, cause really there are so many things that you can put a newborn in for halloween? So I kept thinking...

I thought about the things that I can make ... I know how to make yarn poof balls! And thus, the Spaghetti and Meatball costume was born. The only problem is that what I envisioned in my head and what was actually created are two totally different things. So, while the other kids will be wearing the perfectly crafted pea pod and bumble bee outfits, Noah will be wearing yarn balls and felt held together by safety pins. Greg told me that it's a cute costume, but I think he's just saying that to make me feel better. He also said that it builds character ...If only people could see the picture that's in my head, then I think they would understand what I was going for. At least we will have the memory and its the thought that counts right?

Good Job Nana!

2008-10-27T19:01:00.001-07:00

So, we took Noah to the Doctor today ... I had a long list of concerns; His George Costanza head, cradle cap, colic, rash. My mom was watching Noah while I went to my first class and then she was going ot bring him to the doctor's office to meet me in between Family Law and Evidence. I was sure the doctor would just laugh at me and I'd be on my way. Turns out, while my mom was watching Noah he had a very strange poop, so my mom put the diaper in a baggie and brought it along.

Noah's George Costanza head is normal and will grow back, his cradle cap is normal and will clear up, and he doesn't really have a rash. She did determine that he is a bit colicky and that there are things I can do to help make it easier for us ... among them are giving up chocolate, caffeine, brocoli, apple juice, onions, and spicy foods. All of which are among some of my favorite things. If it makes him feel better, it'll be worth it, right?

After we went through my list of concerns, she then tested the poop ... turns out there were microscopic traces of blood in his poop. So, Nana (or my mom) saved the day! Part of Noah's poop and gassiness could be caused from dairy ... that means, on top of all of the other things that I'm giving up for the colic I also have to get rid of dairy. I'm not a huge milk drinker, but I defintely enjoy my cheese!

No chocolate, no brocoli, no apple juice, no onions, no spicy foods and now no dairy. They will test his poop again in about 2 weeks and if it's not better I think they'll throw something else out there ... she did say I am allowed to eat steak, which would be good news if I ate red meat.

I don't think any of this stuff is bothering him too much though because he's gained another 2 lbs since his last appointment and now weighs 10 lbs and 13 ounces. The way I look at it, if it makes his life better, it will make my life better. I can give up chocolate and dairy for the next 9 months or a year. I didn't think I'd be able to go without caffeine for 9 months and I survived, so I should be okay ...

On a more positive note, I get to start running in 11 days!

George Costanza

2008-10-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

This mommy stuff is hard work ... not that I didn't expect it to be difficult, but I just didn't know what to expect. I new it would be a challenge and I new it would be rewarding, but I just don't think it's something that you can prepare for or that anyone can fully express in words, you just have to experience it for yourself, and I am ...

Noah is a lot of fun. I love watching him smile (even if it's mostly when he's pooping or foofing...I can believe he's smiling at me)...yesterday I bounced him around the house singing all of the camp songs that I could remember, and when I ran out of those, I started singing him all of the hebrew songs that I know. He makes everything else seem less important and that's okay with me because we all know how I feel about law school ...

I feel accomplished when I change a diaper and when I get out of the house at least once during the day. This is a big change from before when I was able to go running at 5:00am, then get coffee, go to work, study or go to school, and keep up on all of my popculture and television shows. I don't miss that the way I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I miss running, I miss being able to run down the street to target and grab a few things, but those things don't seem as important to me.

I definitely have my good days and my bad days ... last week I felt like the worst mommy in world because at mommy group all of the other mommies were playing with their babies. They had rattles and bright colored squishy things and I had a diaper cloth. What's Noah supposed to do with a diaper cloth other than spit up on it? That's not fun, or at least from what I remember from when I was his age I don't think it was fun? I know he's only a month old, but he should have bright colored squishy things to look at and at least sit next to. So, when we got home, I shoved a bunch of things in the diaper bag and I haven't taken them out once.

Noah has also stared losing his hair ... it's in the oddest pattern though. He has only lost the top portion of his hair. Greg determined that he looks a bit like George Costanza. I of course have become the type of mother that freaks out about everything! I spent the afternoon on the phone with the nurse ... I called them 3 times in one day! "His hair has fallen out in a horse-shoe-old-man pattern, is that normal?" and "He has bumps on his head, is that normal?" also "He poops while he's eating and he grunts a lot while he's trying to poop ... normal?" All of which the nurse informed me was normal, but if I wanted to make an appointment I should call back during office hours. Noah has an appointment today at 4:45. Yes, I am that mom. The one that calls for anything and everything and I think I'm okay with that, because the last time I had a baby .. oh wait, I've never had a baby. So I've decided to give myself a break. Calling the doctor for anythign and everything is okay.

Also, I've become the online mommy looky-loo. This is where I go online and search for anythign and everything I can find about different baby ailments, which is so so bad! WebMD is evil but if they had a category for "George Costanza-like hair loss" I might not have to go to the doctor today and look like an idiot. Oh well, I suppose its better to be overly cautious right? I'm hoping I grow out of this phase and that everything becomes more routine, but until then I guess I can nurse Noah on one side and do internet searches on the other, right?

Our First Trip Out Of Town...

2008-10-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

Just got back from our first trip away with Noah. Had a wonderful time, but I'm exhausted! Noah did very well considering we were dragging him all over San Francisco. My mom and Ed were very helpful and very patient with all of the new parent issues and traffic problems ... maybe we were a bit too ambitious when we tried to take a 3 week old to dinner, but other than that, I think Greg and I handled the experience quite well...

The weekend mostly consisted of eating ... Noah would eat and then we would eat and then Noah would eat again and the pattern continued ... We went to Barneys Burgers on Steiner in the Marina, then Pasta Pomodoro on Union. The next morning we went to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (one of two in Northern California) and then to Saul's in Berkeley on the way out of town.

The race went fairly well ... I felt like an impostor jumping in at the bottom of the hill before mile 9. I knew I could have done more and I wanted to, but I guess this experience only gives me more motivation to keep training for next year's race, right? I missed seeing and running with most of my friends, but Greg and I had fun walking the last 4 with Leah who did the full 13.1 miles after having Evelyn only 3 months ago!

Oh lady friends, how you wobble to and fro ...

2008-10-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I cleaned the bathtub for the first time since I got pregnant (it was cleaned during the pregnancy, just not by me. Greg didn't like me inhaling all the chemicals and then I couldn't bend over because of my oversized belly) I felt liberated! I could bend over and scrub all of the nooks and crannies. I was not hindered by a giant protruding tummy.

It's amazing how small I feel and how much further I still have ... I stopped looking at the scale when they would weigh me at the doctor's office. it just got too depressing. I knew my clothes didn't fit, that I felt puffy and round, that my thighs that were once strong were now jiggly and floppy, who needs a scale to tell them that? I didn't really know where I was coming from as far as the whole weight issue was concerned after Noah was born, so I felt like a new person, like an "after" picture for a weight-loss company.

At my two week appointment I had to weigh-in again. The doctor informed me that I had lost about 20-25 lbs. It's amazing that after such a short amount of time I could lose so much weight. I still have a lot to go, but in my mind I feel like a squishier "old me"... The squishiness is what I'm going to use to motivate me to get back to my former self.

I'm nervous to start running again. Nervous and excited. I'm anxious to see how much strenght and endurance I have actually lost and how quickly it will return. I wonder what new wobbly bits I have created during my 9 month hiatus...another part of me that is causing me some concern are my new lady friends that have taken up shop on my chest, also known as "meal time" to Noah. My boobs are huge! (If I'm being honest, it's really just my left breast that is huge, my right breast is just extra large). I'm concerned about how these ladies are going to handle the running. How will I strap them down? It is almost like walking around with a refrigerator on my chest, that's how big they feel ... I guess I should be okay, at least I lost the extra large belly that went along with the extra large breasts right? Or, maybe the extra large breasts are just so large they make my tummy seem small? Either way I'm excited to get back to running and nervous to see how the ladies are going to handle the impact. Maybe it's good that I haven't been cleared for running yet? This way I'll have more time to adjust to my new "lady friends"...

Today we are going to SF for the Nike Women's Marathon (no I am not running a marathon 3 weeks after giving birth ... I wish!). I'm so excited. My mom and Ed are coming with us and they will watch Noah while Greg and I walk about 4 miles of the race with Leah. I have never jumped into a race in the middle and I'm feeling quite conflicted about it, but I figure giving birth is sorta' like doing a race. It takes a lot out of your body and is physically challenging ... I'm really sore afterwards, so doesn't that give me a little leeway here? If the doctors were to clear me to run, I'm pretty sure I would give it a try, but alas, I have 3 more weeks to go.

I've done this race every year for the last 4 years, since its inception, I can't not go. It's MY weekend, my happy time ... its my favorite race in my favorite city. Greg and I go every year. We start at the expo where I buy way too much Nike gear and then we head over to Fillmore street where I get a NonFat Vanilla Latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, the tastiest coffee shop in the world. We do more shopping and then we hit another favorite restaurant, either Luna Cafe or the Citrus Club or Barney's Hamburgers, followed by more shopping and more eating. Basically, it's the perfect weekend, a combination of running, shopping and eating at all of my favorite locations.

I can't wait to share the experience with Noah. The race is really empowering and honors female athletes, maybe that's one of the reasons I love it so much (or its the serious shopping that I'm do while I'm in the city ... I think it's a toss up). I'm sure he won't remember this, but it's something I hope to make a tradition with him. I want him to grow up knowing and witnessing what women can accomplish, what HIS mom can accomplish.

Marathoning has always seemed unique to me, not just because so few people can say they have run a marathon, but because it's something athletic and it's a sport that doesn't focus on winning. Its more about accomplishing a goal; challenging yourself and pushing yourself to do something that you might not think is possible, but in the end, when you cross the finish line it doesn't matter that you came in 19,999 out of 20,000, it's more about what you have just achieved. So, Noah will grow up witnessing what it's like to set goals AN what its like to achieve them, and then we'll get to go shopping.

Damn you dirty flannels!

2008-10-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

When I was younger I used to sleep with my mom, and i remember sometimes waking up and my mom would be checking my pulse and trying to hear if I was still breathing. I think I thought she was crazy, but maybe now I understand a bit more ...

Noah sleeps next to the bed in a little bassinet. He wakes up about 2-3 hours to eat and afterwards I'm up for an extra 45 minutes listening to his noises, checking to make sure he's okay and still breathing. I find myself checking his "symptoms" online while in bed and then asking Greg if we should call the doctor or check his temperature after every sound. I know looking at webMd is bad and probably only serves to make me more paranoid, but I can't help it, I've never done this before.

My life for the past 2 1/2 almost 3 weeks has consisted of feedings every 2-2 1/2 hours, followed by a poopy or a wet diaper and then back to sleep. I've been living my life in 2 hour increments and while it's good for me because I like structure, I find that I'm not really able to get much accomplished...nothing else seems that important right now.

I start school tomorrow. I haven't really touched my school work since Noah was born and that doesn't bother me. I'm fairly certain that this semester is going to be a giant waste of time and sitting through class is going to be an even bigger time suck than normal, but there's nothing I can do about that, because honestly, it just doesn't seem important to me these days ... it's not that all I want to do is sit and breastfeed my baby, but reading cases just doesn't compare to learning everythign there is to learn about Noah.

Greg went back to work last Thursday. Noah and I had two successful days alone together ... we even went to a mommy and me group. Noah was the youngest baby there and the other mom's acted somewhat surprised that we were there...I guess it's strange to be out and about this soon after having a baby or maybe it's the C-section? I don't know, I thought that was what you were supposed to do.

I'm not generally a person that likes those sort of "group" things, but I thought it would be helpful for me to be around other moms. Especially because I've never done this or anything like this, and by "this" I mean "being a mom." It's weird to think of myself as a mom, because in so many ways I still feel like a child pretending to do grown-up things.

I own a home and pay bills, but I still call my mom when I'm sick and I still sleep with a stuffed animal named Leonardo DaMonkey that I got when I was very young (I want to say I was either3 or 6, but I really can't remember and Lucas says I make up dates and ages). Leondardo was named after Leonardo DaVinci when I was going through my DaVinci phase.

I wonder what phases Noah will go through? I had an unfortunate black phase and an even more unfortunate "grunge" phase. (Damn you Seattle grunge rock scene! Damn you and your dirty flannels! Why did you have to be "in" when I was in high school? As if puberty and high school aren't difficult enough... ) Maybe Noah will only go through a super smart phase and get-good-grades phase?

I'm not sure what to expect or what phases he'll go through ... I only know that the last 2 1/2 weeks have felt like an eternity. Not in a bad way. I feel like I've been on vacation. That feeling where you wish you could stay in your little bubble forever. The type of vacation where you leave all of your paperwork and homework and bills behind ... mostly it's the type of vacation where law school becomes unimportant and the fear that you used to have of being called on in class and being unprepared and looking stupid in front of your professor and your classmates doesn't' scare you anymore because what you have experienced and what waits for you outside of the lecture hall is way more important.

Hair Dryers are more useful than I thought ...

2008-10-01T06:17:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks or even months of pregnancy, everyone kept saying "catch up on your sleep now." That's good in theory, but really, there is no amount of sleep that I could have banked that would have helped prepare me for this. I feel like that's saying "just don't eat for 3 weeks so that you can have an entire cake next month." It doesn't work like that or at least it shouldn't.

One thing I felt I was prepared for was that I wasn't going to be sleeping, and I'm fine with that. In fact, it hasn't been that horrible. Noah is a very good baby. He sleeps a lot during the day and when people are around and then everyone leaves and he's then up all night long ... in fact, Greg is up right now trying to use the hair dryer to coax him into getting some zzz's (see "Happiest Baby on the Block").

I know it's normal and that babies are up a lot. I've been reading articles about sleeping babies and how you can help ease them into a sleep routine ... I haven't really found any very good advice. In fact, one said "to get baby used to sleeping at night, get them on a regular sleep schedule." Seriously? Who's the genius that paid you to come up with that? I could have told you that with or without a baby. Maybe if I tell him that sleeping through the night will help him have a more restful day, maybe that would work? I'm thinking probably not.

Again, I don't mind being up, I was expecting to lose all of my sleep once the baby arrived, but it's still difficult. I hate hearing him cry or seeing unhappy. Not because it's annoying, but because I don't want him to be sad or unhappy and I want to be able to always make it better. Isn't that what mom's do, make it better?

I think we're on the right track to figuring this out and I know it will take time, but I'm ready to make him happy now and possibly to get a sleep in between.

Oh nipples...how you ache.

2008-10-01T05:58:00.000-07:00

I've been breastfeeding since the first morning in the hospital. In the beginning it was just the colostrum, but my milk came in a few days ago. It was nothing I didn't expect. My boobs got big and really hard and basically even more unattractive than they already were, but here's what I didn't expect ...

I didn't expect my nipples to remain so sore. Sure, I guess it makes sense, someone is sucking on them at a rapid rate all day long, but still, they hurt! Everything I read says "it's not supposed to hurt" and "if it does hurt, you probably have a bad latch and you should relatch and start again." Well, that sounds nice in theory, but unlatching Noah is quite difficult. He's a hungry little dude!

I truly believe in the benefits of breastfeeding. I think it's what's best for the baby, it's cheaper than formula, it allows you to bond with the baby in a different way and on top of it, you're supposed to burn more calories. What's better than that right?

For some reason I think I pictured it differently. I think I was more worried about my milk coming in than I was about the proper "latch." I think I thought once my milk came in everything would be a piece of cake. I imagined my baby sucking each breast dry and then they'd shrink back down to normal size, I'd burn 800gazillion calories and then I'd be good as new.

There's a girl in my class at school. She had a baby boy or first semester of classes right before our midterms. She is tall and thin and I remember seeing her in class and she was all belly. One week she had a little basketball belly and then two weeks later she showed for midterms and she looked completely deflated, the basketball was gone.

I talked to her after I became pregnant ... I asked her how she got back to her original "shape" and she said "breastfeeding" it's amazing! So, I think I pictured her whenever I pictured breastfeeding ... should it matter that she's probably a foot taller than me and that I could probably fit my entire thigh in the space between hers? (Apparently thighs aren't supposed to rub together).

Another example of this breastfeeding myth is Kerri Russel. I remember reading some article about how she got her pre-baby body back and she made some "breastfeeding is amazing" comment. They showed a picture of her in NYC standing by a cab. I imagined the paparrazi asking her the question "how'd you do it Kerri?" and her turning and yelling back "Breastfeeding! It's fantastic" and then getting into a cab like it was an ad for a new deodorant or something ...

So, Noah is only one week old and I'm already impatient ... not that I thought I would be back to prebaby after one week, I'm not crazy, but I didn't think it would be this hard. Something that "amazing" and so "wonderful" why does it make my nipples so unhappy? I don't mind waking up and feeding him every 2 - 3 hours, sometimes every 1 hour, in fact, I'm more than happy to spend time with the little guy, but I just want to do it right. I want to do it well and I want my nipples to stop tingling in the cold, middle of the night air.

I'm meeting with the lactation consultant this afternoon. I'm hoping she doesn't just tell me "it's not supposed to hurt, let's work on latching" because frankly, maybe it's not supposed to hurt, but it does. It's not something that comes naturally, nor do I think it should. We shouldn't just be used to walking around with something attached to our boob, it's cumbersome. (If people were attached to our nipples it would make buying shirts and driving very difficult, don't you think?)

It's an odd sensation and not one that I can explain easily, but I'm ready for the little dude to suck them back down to size, because these things are a bit unruly.

A few videos...

2008-09-30T22:54:00.000-07:00

Some highlights of Noah's first week at his new home (or at least his new home outside of my uterus)...

Noah Meets Gary click here

Tasty Diet Coke click here

Hiccups click here

Noah's first walk click here

I am not the best camera person, but I promise to get better.

Counting, barfing, shaking and finally a baby!

2008-09-29T14:55:00.000-07:00

I think I went into labor last Sunday ... the process is not like how it is in the movies at all! Here's how it happened. Sunday afternoon I noticed something "gross" in the toilet after I went pee (since I already told you all about my monster poo, who cares about a little pee, right?). I figured it was nothing, maybe a little left-over "something" from Greg that I didn't notice before. We then went to my mom's house for tacos and on our way home I noticed some cramping and felt my stomach tightening. It wasn't that horrible, but it wasn't comfortable either.

Later that night the "crampy-tight" feeling that I had felt before intensified and when I went to the bathroom, something else happened to fall out of me when I went pee pee... I determined that it must have been my mucus plug and thought "that was gross, but at least it's out and it's overwith." That night I breathed through the contractions while Greg counted them on the computer.

When I woke up the next morning, the contractions had pretty much stopped and were only happening every 40 minutes to an hour. I decided to go to school because I didn't want to waste any of my absences if I wasn't actually going to have the baby. Classes started at 3:30 and around 4:30 my contractions began again. I don't think I learned anythign that night, I just kept hoping that my water wouldn't break while I was in class!

When I got home around 8:30 on Monday night I went to the bathroom again and noticed something incredibly disgusting ... it was officially my mucus plug and it looked like a big pile of dirty camping boogers. My contractions then got closer and more intense, but still not regular enough to head to the hospital, so we counted ... we spent the whole night counting and falling in and out of sleep. Every 6 1/2 - 7 minutes we'd wake up, I'd practice breathing and Greg would try and hit the space bar on our internet contraction counter. To entertain us during the process we searched for goats in trees on youtube (it's a long story, but basically we were trying to prove that goats actually do go in trees). Here's what we watched to make us laugh ... make sure you listen/watch all the way to the end. Click here.

Tuesday was my due date, so I had a doctor's appointment that morning. I was trying not to get my hopes up. I wanted them to say "go to the hospital, you're ready to have your baby", but I didn't want to jinx it, so I stayed quiet. Our appointment got pushed back another hour and my contractions continued to intensify. Greg and I walked to starbucks, breathing and counting.

At 11:00am we went to the doctor's. She checked my cervix and was finally dilated. She said I was almost three centimeters, which was a huge improvement from our previous appointment. Then she asked me about BHR's movement and since I hadn't been feeling him move around as much as I was before, she wanted to do an ultra sound where she measured the fluid around the baby. He was measuring low, so she sent us off to the hospital. If everything was normal there, they would send me home, if not, she said we'd be having BHR that day.

I was somewhat scared. I felt a bit selfish because I really wanted to him to arrive that day, I didn't want to go home and sit and count more contractions, I wanted to stay at the hospital, but at the same time, I didn't want anything to be wrong with him.

We got to the hospital, got admitted and hooked up to the machines to measure what was going on ... The ultra sound showed that my fluid levels were normal and after an hour or so the nurse came in, measured my cervix again and I was just 3 centimeters. I told her I didnt' want to go home and so she and the doctor decided to admit me ... I was going to meet BHR!

We were then put in a large labor and delivery room and I was given pitocin. My contractions got closer together and much much stronger than before. I felt okay, but nervous. Greg helped me breathe through the pain and my family entertained me while I bounced around on a birthing ball. As the pitocin increased so did my contractions. I had it my head that I was going to make it 5 centimeters before getting an epidural, but at 4 I was over that plan and I wanted drugs.

After the epidural I couldn't feel any contractions and the next thing I new it was time to push. It had been about 12hours since I was admitted and I was dilated to 10 centimeters. I tried pushing for about 2 1/2 hours. During this time, I threw up several times and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't lay on my back without shaking and still I felt nothing ... no baby.

After 2 1/2 hours the doctor told me that BHR wasn't going to fit through my pelvis and she recommended that I have C-section. She began telling me what that would mean and all I cared about was meeting my baby. I didn't care about anything else ... I had waited 40 weeks and nothing was going to stop me from finally welcoming BHR.

The problem with the C-section was that it required me to lie down on my back ... this is what was making me throw up and shake. I remember being wheeled down the hall and going into the operating room, but everything else was a blur. I was so thankful that Greg and my mom were able to be there...I was not doing well,I couldn't get the shaking to stop and I was freaking Greg out.

I remember the doctor's asking me if I wanted to see my baby. They lowered the curtain/wall and I remember seeing slimy little boy and then my head fell back down. This was not how I pictured it. I imagined them handing me my baby and Greg and I ooing and aahing over our new bundle of joy. Instead I was too sick and shaky. My face and my legs were itchy from the anesthesia and my throat was raw from all of the barfing ...

I don't remember when I finally got to hold my baby. I remember looking at him in his clear bassinet that was going to be his bed for the next 4 days. I remember thinking how small and how sweet he looked ... it didn't feel real.

The point is this ... the labor and delivery of baby Noah wasn't what I expected. It wasn't easy and nothing could have prepared me for how I would react and what happened. The memories of the bad stuff are fading quickly and when asked if I would do it all over again the answer is a definite yes.

I look at Noah and even though I'm scared and nervous that I'm doing something wrong or that I can't do "this" I know that it's completely worth it. The four days that we stayed in the hospital seem so long ago ... the days and nights blended together and with each day I felt closer and more attached Noah. I can't wait to experience life through Noah's eyes and until then I can't wait to find words that better explain how much I love him.

The Tale of Two Poos

2008-09-29T13:42:00.001-07:00

The day Noah was born the Rabbi came by and did a blessing on both Noah and I. It was really moving and it was so nice of the Rabbi to come by the hospital. She stayed a little while and chatted with us. She has two young boys so she gave me some advice ... she said "...and take your stool softener."

I didn't realize at the time the importance of this statement. Everything comes down to poo. I have never really had a problem with the softness of my stool. I knew they weren't going to let me leave the hospital until I foofed (or passed gas), but I didn't realize that I wouldn't poop for a few days. Every time the nurses would check my vitals they would say "Have you passed gas" and sadly I would have to say "No, not yet."

Everything about gas and poo is funny! For those that know us, Greg and I, we're big foof proponents, how could I not have been able to foof? I felt so defeated! When I was in the hospital the days sort of blended together, so I don't remember the momentous day, but I did eventually foof and I felt so proud of myself, so accomplished. I had a baby and I had foofed, what could be better, right?

Well, yesterday I finally had my first poop. I know this is a lot of information, because really, how often to people talk about this stuff? But I have found that after having a baby, modesty goes out the window, so if this is too much for you, you may want to stop reading now, because it only gets worse ...

Anyway, I went to the bathroom yesterday morning, and I sat there for what felt like 30 minutes! Greg even wondered what happened to me ... apparently having a baby slows EVERYTHING down. So not only had I not pooed in several days, but it felt as though I was in slow motion. I think I must have pooped out my intestines; like the poo had piled up inside my body and was being released from captivity .... and again, I was proud of myself.

So today, Noah proved that he is 100% part of this family ... we had our first poo-explosion! I took Noah into the nursery to change his diaper. When I opened it up there was only a little bit of pee-pee, so I started wiping and was about to change the diaper and then it happened ... he foofed! I giggled, he giggled and then I looked down and I noticed, there was a little bit more poop. So I called Greg and asked him to get me another wipe (we use dry wipes and then get them wet in the bathroom, so I couldn't leave Noah by himself on the changing pad).

Greg came in as I was changing Noah out of his second diaper, he foofed again ... and with that poo shot across the room! Across the diaper basket, across the stack of wipes, onto the baby blanket, through the changing pad, across the wall and onto the door. While Greg and I were laughing and trying to pick up the poop-covered baby pieces I leaned over, still giggling, to give Noah a kiss on his forehead.

I said "welcome to the family" and with that, Noah peed off his diaper, up his tummy, onto his shirt and onto his new little addidas. Greg and I lost it! I didn't know what to pick up first ...I couldn't stop laughing!

We finally got ourselves under control, finished picking up the pee and the poo-covered baby paraphernalia and I felt reassured and proud; Noah is definitely part of our family.

Welcome back to my life you tasty beast!

2008-09-28T09:17:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we came home from the hospital ... I haven't washed my hair in a long long long time. I had a plan. I was going to wash my hair and then have a tasty diet coke. I felt like the experience needed to be perfect and you know about my thing with thing with the clean hair. The hair washing wasn't going to happen too much going on, so I settled on my diet coke with dirty hospital hair ...

Oh Diet Coke, how I missed your fizzy, tasty goodness. Even though I didn't have clean hair for the experience, it was still one of the best tasting drinks of my life. I didn't finish it because I didn't want to freak out the system considering I haven't had any caffeine since last January, but man it was quite refreshing!!!

More later ...

BHR revealed

2008-09-28T02:30:00.000-07:00

So, it happened ... BHR was born on September 24, 2008 at 3:16am. His name is Noah Michael Himovitz-Ries. There's so much to share, so much to say and since it's 2:30 in the morning and I just got home from the hospital yesterday, this will not be my most exciting entry.

The labor story will have to come later, but in the meantime I can finally share our thought process behind BHR's new and permanent name ... you may not remember my entry that talked about how Judiasm works with naming, but the point is that I always new that either Lucas or myself would use the name Michael. I've always loved that name, not just because it was my father's, but also because it's a nice name and I like the way it sounds. It was hard because since Lucas and Lara don't have a child and because you don't name anyone after someone who is still alive I didn't want to take their option of using Michael away and that's one of the reasons that Michael is the middle name , also Greg and I both wanted a name that was different (Michael is pretty common), still had a good meaning and is Jewish.

We looked at meanings of names in books and stories online and we found Noah. Noah means "peaceful" and that's something that I am always striving for, yet rarely achieve. It's something that I hope for in the world and something that we desperately need. It's something that I value in people and in the communities that I join, but most importantly I think it's a name that describes Greg. He's so calm and patient ... when I feel chaotic and overwhelmed and it feels like my head is spinning, Greg has a way about him that makes everything seem calm. He doesn't deal with problems by yelling or screaming, he is thoughtful in his responses and in how he handles conflicts and challenges ... he internalizes a lot and sometimes you aren't always sure what's going on, but what I do know and what I can always tell is that he's coming from a place of thoughtfulness.

Knowing that we were having a boy I immediately thought of Greg and my hopes for our son ... I hope that our son inherits Greg's calming and peaceful nature. We were between Noah and Jonah and while we initially were going to go with Jonah, sharing these last 5 days with Greg and our new son and our chaotic labor experience, I know that choosing the name Noah was the right decision. Greg was amazing throughout the whole experience ... he was attentive and devoted and made me feel like we can definitely do this. And while he may feel nauseous and scared and overwhelmed, there is no doubt in my mind that he's going to be an amazing father and that I am not in this alone and that makes me feel peaceful ...

39 weeks...one week to go

2008-09-17T06:07:00.000-07:00

BHR is 39 weeks, one week away from term. He's still building fat layers (as am I) to help control his body temperature after birth, and it's likely that he measures around 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 lbs, which is like a mini watermelon. They also say that boys tend to be heavier than girls, but I think right now, I weigh more than everybody:)

We went to the hospital yesterday to do some fetal monitoring. I had noticed a decrease in BHR's fetal movement and called the doctor. I guess when you are this far along they send you straight to labor and delivery. I remained surprisingly calm considering the last time I was told to go to the hospital when I was a bit of a crying mess. They monitored me and baby for about 40 minutes and made sure everything was okay before releasing us. The doctor's and the nurses keep saying "well, your at 39 weeks, so we aren't going to stop labor." I want to say "who asked you to stop anything? Is there anyway you could start something?" Cheese and rice people, nothing has started yet, so let's not jinx it by making these statements about "stopping"... I knew BHR wasn't actually coming yet, but part of me was hoping that he would sense the hospital and just decide to get it over with. He didn't.

Other than that I've just been anxiously waiting ... nothing else seems very important these days, just BHR. Not knowing when to expect him; not knowing what feelings are normal or not normal, has been hard. Wondering if he's kicked me enough or if my water is going to break or tear and if it's a tear have I missed it and if I've missed it am I hurting BHR ... I'm assuming I'll know these things when they happen, but I don't like leaving things to chance. I like planning, I like knowing...

I've been trying to get on a good hair-washing schedule (every 2-3 days) so that BHR can meet me with at least relatively clean, straight hair and possibly even painted nails...I always perform better with straight, clean hair. My worst marathon experience ever, I remember deciding the night before that I didn't need to wash my hair. I was going on day 3 or 4 and figured that it didn't matter because after you run a marathon your hair gets so disgusting anyway, who's going to notice? Apparently the running gods noticed, because that was an awful marathoning experience and part of me wonders if it would have been different had I washed and straightened my hair? I guess I'll never know ...

For those of you that don't know this, washing my hair is one of my least favorite things in the world! Remember when I talked about the girls with the perfect straight hair, the kind that would swish from side-to-side when they would walk, the girls that can "get up and go"? Yeah, that's not me. I have to wash my hair, then I have to blow it dry, then I have to flatten it, then I have to worry about whether or not there is any bit of moisture outside that is going to F it up...it's a process and it takes strategic planning.

Ideally, this is what I would like to happen so that I can plan accordingly ... I want to walk into the doctor's office and have them say "okay, now we are going to go to the hospital. BHR will arrive in approximately 7-9 hours. You will push for this long and this is what's going to happen and then we will hand you your healthy baby boy." I'm not completely dellusional, I like to think of myself as hopeful. I know this isn't actually going to happen, but wouldn't it be nice?

I haven't really be in the mood for chit chat or seeing people. It's not because I dislike people or anything like that. I can't explain it really ... I've always been a home body, but lately I really just like doing things that require as little effort as possible. I read that it's normal, but after this experience, I definitely don't trust "everything" that I read because there are things about pregnancy that no one tells you, and that no one can explain even if they tried.

I was thinking this morning about what I'm going to miss ... I think I'll miss being with BHR all the time. Knowing he's there and feeling him move around. It's nice to be able to provide a space for someone that's safe and comforting. Supposedly it's really warm in there, and that could be nice for someone, right?

The list of things I'm not going to miss is probably a little too long ... but who knows, maybe one day I'll look back and think "ya' know, I really miss those cankles" or I'll think "remember when my boobs were super huge and unattractive and didn't fit into 'pretty' bras and tried to smother me when I slept? Those were the days."

I have no idea what I'm really going to miss until it's over and I think that's the sad part about pregnancy ending ... however, I'm thinking that once BHR is here, I won't mind everything else. They say that after a while you forget everything, you forget the pains of pregnancy and labor and that's how women are able to keep having babies; so much time goes by that you forget that you ripped your "lady downstairs" from head to toe and you look at your baby and think, "I want another one" and that's how it starts again.

I'm ready to meet him, and I'm sure I'll be able to create another list of things that no one can ever fully explain about being a parent and my cankles won't seem so bad. Stay tuned ... BHR could be here any moment, but let's just hope it happens on a "clean hair" day or at least within the 3-day window.

Reason number 8 gazillion Why I love my dog!

2008-09-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

Who's sick of my flip video?

Oh Burritos ...

2008-09-14T09:09:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Greggie's first cyclocross race of the season. There was a big "cyclebration" at Negro Bar in Folsom. My mom, Ed and Nelson came and joined Gary and I to cheer Greg on. Here's a video of Greggie's race. A few things that you don't get to see ... me eating 3 oranges in about an hour or so, Nelson taking off down the hill and my mom, Ed and I polishing off a giant bag of kettle corn.

Greg didn't come in last and that was his goal ... if you listen closely you will hear Greg comment on the burrito that he ate the night before. Probably not the best choice before a big race. All in all it was a good day.

Week 38...14 days to go

2008-09-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

BHR weighs around 6.8 lbs and is over 19 1/2 inches long, like a leek.

I'm hoping for less than 14 days ... in case you couldn't tell:)

Tasty Pancake Goodness ... how you make my tum tum happy and warm on the inside.

2008-09-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

Today is my 30th birthday. To help me celebrate my mom and Ed took me to one of their favorite places, The Original Pancake House in Roseville. I thought driving to Roseville just to eat pancakes was crazy, but this place was definitely worth the drive!

To see our tasty pancakes click here.

My mom ordered a "Dutch Baby", I had the "Apple Pancake" and Ed got regular "blueberry pancakes." My mom also got a side of bacon, an orange juice, fruit and coffee. It's amazing she's as tiny as she is:)

I don't feel very different now that I'm 30 ... maybe I will after BHR arrives? But I'm sure that will be because I am finally a mom! I can't wait to be a mom. When I was younger I used to think that I would be married with kids and a career by the time I was 23. 23 seemed so grown-up to me. Now, it sounds so young ... is that the first sign that I'm getting older? I'm not at all dissapointed in myself for still being in school and for not being a mom yet, in fact it's quite the opposite. I like where I am and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next...

Gary Goes for Dip

2008-09-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Gary loves going to Nana and Papa's house just much as me ... it's his happy place. Everything good happens at this house.

Gary doesn't seem to mind that this is the coldest pool in the entire world, in fact he doesn't even look to see if there's water in the pool.

Gary wanted to buy me something ...

2008-09-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

Gary told me this morning that he wanted to buy me something fun for my birthday. I asked him what he wanted to get me and he said "a Flip Video." So we went over to Best Buy and got one.

Here's our first couple videos. While I know not many of you will find these videos very interesting or entertaining, please be patient while we are working out the kinks. I'm sure they will get more interesting ... enjoy.

To view our new videos click here and here.

Something gross ...

2008-09-04T17:48:00.001-07:00

This infomercial really grossed me out ... I don't know what it was, but it made me a little queasy:(

If you want to watch click here.

Pizza taste test

2008-09-04T12:15:00.000-07:00

I've been super into pizza these days, not surprising considering I've always loved pizza ... anyway, I decided to do a mini pizza taste test in Sacramento. Not actually mini pizzas, rather a pizza taste test on a small scale.

My test sample only consists of a few places, but I can do that because 1) it's my test and 2) I don't feel like going to a bunch of gross places when I already know the places that I like.

I have decided that Uncle Vito's is hands down the best pizza place in Sacramento and let me tell you why. You can get pizza by the slice, it's thin, which I really like, it's tasty and it's relatively cheap. Also, you only have to get one piece and it's very satisfying.

Chicago Fire is a close second, but the main reason it came in second is because you can't get pizza by the slice. I do like that you can get both thin and thick crust, however the thin crust pizza comes in tiny squares so you have to eat a lot of them.

I went to Papi Pizza by the slice today. It's on J Street in the uber hip block between Harlow's and El Centro. Maybe I went on an off day, but I have to say, I was not impressed. I got a piece of cheese pizza and the best part about it was that it came in it's own pizza-shaped cardboard box. (I like things in containers and I like individual containers the best). The pizza tasted like pizza that I used to get at the roller rink which actually tastes like tombstone pizza that you can get at the regular food store ... it was only $3 a slice and again I like pizza by the slice, but this wasn't very tasty. Also, I don't think the cheese was all the way melted and it was in a round plastic case spinning thing so it had been sitting there for a while ...

There are other places that I'm sure are also very tasty, but I don't feel like talking about them...

Now I want to go and eat oranges and celery, don't know if that goes with pizza, but sounds tasty to me:)

Oh Crystal man, how I wish you would bring me some more tasty lemon yogurt...

2008-09-02T13:59:00.000-07:00

My latest craving for the day is lemon chiffon dannon yogurt. I have never been a major lemon-citrus person, but for some reason with this pregnancy I love all things lemon. I bought this one flavor because I needed one more yogurt to get my 10 for 10 deal at Safeway and so I grabbed this one thinking that it would be the one that I leave for Greg to eat because he likes all the weird flavors, but something about it seemed to entertain my taste buds this morning and I ate it. It was quite tasty, so tasty that I even considered going out to the food store to purchase 10 more ... I didn't.

When we were younger we used to have the Crystal man come to our house and deliver us milk and yogurt. I feel like he even delivered us english muffins, but that could be wrong. We always got lemon yogurt and cherry yogurt. It's weird that we even got the yogurt and the milk considering my mom dislikes both foods and I don't recall Lucas or I being big milk drinkers. I loved waking up and opening the door and seeing our breakfast treats waiting for me. I only remember it happening when the weather was nice and by nice I mean in my memories it always felt like Fall, I could be wrong ... everything great happened in the fall.

It felt like school was starting and the air was chilly, but you knew it was going to heat up later. Lucas and I would walk to Deterding together ... I always hated walking across the grass because it was wet and my socks would get soggy. I loved walking to school with Lucas though.

I also used to like checking the newspaper in the morning. I liked checking the weather, I wanted to be a weather person. I think that changed early on, but I don't remember. I wonder what BHR is going to want to be when he grows up? I wanted to be a fashion designer at one point, and a firefighter, but mostly I remember wanting to be a civil rights lawyer ...knowing that I've wanted to do this for so long you would think that I wouldn't hate law school much, but unfortunately that's just not the case. Law school will be worth it in the end I imagine ... once school is done, I'll be able to afford to have the crystal man come and deliver me some tasty lemon yogurt ... although, now that I think about it, does the crystal man even exist anymore, I feel like he doesn't and that makes me a little sad.

Maybe Greg will be the Crystal man and bring me some tasty lemon yogurt? I won't make him wear the outfit and he doesn't have to leave it on the front step, although that would be kinda' fun to wake up to some tasty treats on my front porch. Also, Greg doesn't like my yogurt, so he would probably bring home some weird organic-all-natural-yogurt-creme-stuff that has 800 calories that only people who are 6'1" should be eating ... I'll have to think about this plan some more, but that yogurt sure was tasty!

37 Weeks

2008-09-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

BHR is now considered full term. He weighs 6 1/3 lbs and measures a bit over 19 inches head to heel. That is about the length of a stock of swiss chard. I wonder who actually figures this stuff out, seriously, swiss chard?

Cool T-shirts?

2008-09-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

Not a lot of blogging going on these days ... mostly because not a lot has been happening. I'm not working, which is nice because I'm able to focus on school and baby. if I'm being honest though, I'm mainly focusing on "When BHR is going to arrive." I guess it could be any minute, right? I'm just about 37 weeks and they say that he is technically "full-term" but I really don't understand what that means exactly. If he's full-term, why isn't he here?

Right now I feel like I'm the last hold-out, the last pregnant person in my circle of pregnant people to remain pregnant. Even the person that was due the day before me has had her baby. I'm not angry, but I really like knowing things. I'm not big on surprises and I'm a major planner, so I feel like I'm a bit stuck. I want to know the details and I especially want to know what to pack! My family is making me pack today, but that's just not how I operate.

I've been trying everything to make BHR arrive. I've heard lots of different rumors about what induces labor and so far, I don't think any have worked. I had Mountain Mikes Pizza, Eggplant Parmesean, walking, lavender, yes we even tried sex (which is not very comfortable and kinda' strange if you ask me) ... at least the food choices are all tasty, right?

I have another doctor's appointment on Friday. Let's hope they don't tell me what they told me last time ..."the baby's waaaayyyyy up there ... no baby this weekend." I know they could always be wrong, but the over emphasis of "waaaaayyyyy" was a bit disheartening.

Part of me is really ready, and part of me is really scared. I'm not scared of BHR, I'm mostly scared of labor. Again, I like knowing what's going to happen. I'm a creature of habit and I don't like change much, so not knowing what, when and how it's going to happen is a bit troubling for me. How am I supposed to plan?!

Last night Greg and I had a long talk and we were talking about our name selections ... we had finally decided on one and I had even ordered a pillow with the initial on it last month. So, we pulled out the computer and started researching the meaning and the stories of this name ... turns out, not really such a good name afterall. The pillow is going back...I guess it's a good thing BHR hasn't arrived yet, otherwise he could end up with a name that means something that's not good. Maybe I'm not quite ready or maybe everything will fall into place once he arrives, who knows.

I know I've faced a lot of different challenges, but I don't think anything compares to this. Greg says to think of it like a marathon, but labor doesn't sound much like a marathon to me right now. Unless, when you picture a marathon you picture someone ripping your insides open and pulling out a human being, then I guess you can compare it to a marathon, but why would anyone pay to run that? Maybe they give out a really cool t-shirt?

36 weeks - What is a crenshaw melon?

2008-08-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

BHR is gaining about an ounce a day and weighs almost 6 lbs. This is like a crenshaw melon, although I don't know what a crenshaw melon is, I'm sure it's a nice melon. BHR is more than 18 1/2 inches long.

Bon Jovi in a chair

2008-08-20T13:31:00.001-07:00

We finally got our new rocker finished! It's not exactly new, but it's an old rocker with a makeover, sorta' like Bon Jovi! Greg painted the chair and we had new cushions made for it. It's perfect and fits me perfectly. It even makes the little "creeky" rocker noise that rockers are supposed to make. Greg wants to fix that noise I'm sure, but now that he's a "new Jew" he's going to have to fix less stuff!

Life Savers, Tic Tacs and Strawberry Rhubarb Shmoo

2008-08-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

Greg is off to become a Jew this morning. This process has taken him almost 2 years, but I'm sure it has felt much longer for him. He already has had his symbolic circumcision or his "hatafat dam brit", this morning he went before a panel of three rabbis, also known as "Bet Din", and then at 1:00 today he will be dunked, also called the "mikveh." I'm truly impressed with his dedication to the process, not just what has been required of him, but also his own desire to learn and explore something that I think I have probably taken for granted.

I was born Jewish, and while I attended Sunday school and Hebrew school and everything else, being Jewish has been different for me. Sunday school was never pleasant for me, I didn't have a ton of friends in my classes and never really felt like I fit in. In fact, I remember having one friend in Sunday school who was one year ahead of me. She wore a Raiders parka and had really high bangs.

In regular school I remember being one of three other Jewish students in the class and we would have to go up in front of the class twice a year and talk about Chanukah and Passover and explain to the non-Jewish kids what the holidays were about. I felt different, but I'm not sure I felt special.

After my Bat Mitzvah I remember feeling proud and accomplished, like I had made it. It felt good to be Jewish, but still different. Temple was never a place I wanted to go and I remember resenting Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur because they often fell around the same time as my birthday. It wasn't necessarily Judaism that I didn't like, but temple wasn't a comfortable place for me.

When my dad passed away in 1995 and had the falling out with the Rabbi, that was when I questioned Judiasm. I questioned the Rabbi and felt like he let me down. I don't regret saying what I said at my dad's kaddish and I would probably say it again ...I knew something was right, and I said it. I'm sure many people think that my timing was off, that I shouldn't have said what I said when I said it, but I wouldn't change a thing.

After that, being Jewish was not about going to temple, it was about something I did with my family, something that connected me with different people around me ... family traditions and lots of food. I really owe my mom for making sure Judaism never left my life. Getting me to temple was probably never easy, but she made sure we were there and she surrounded us with loving people and created a new family for us, she made sure we knew that being Jewish was important.

I remember going to temple and sitting in the way back. Sleeping through half of the service and waking up for some of the songs. (In fact, I still sing a lot of the songs on a weekly basis, mostly in the shower. I'm sure Greg has enjoyed them. I think it was my singing that made him want to convert, I have such a lovely singing voice and they are quite catchy tunes.) My mom would give us lifesavers and tic -tacs and we would bug her about when we would get to leave. We were allowed to leave the service and play in the hallway, but only during the sermon. For the longest time I didn't even know what a sermon was, I basically thought it was "break time."

When I went away to college Judaism came with me. I didn't attend temple until the firebombings in 1999, but I always felt connected. Maybe I didn't appreciate what it meant to be Jewish until then, or maybe I just was waiting for the Rabbi to retire before going back, or maybe I was just being lazy...it was probably a combination.

Being Jewish has never been about a belief in God for me ... I question God a lot and his/her existence, and I think that's a part of it. I think questioning is a big part of being Jewish for me. More importantly, Judaism is about culture and tradition and family.

Greg's curiosity and interest in Judaism has helped bring me back and given me a new perception about what it means to be Jewish. Our wedding was one of the happiest days of my life and having a Jewish ceremony was something that helped make it so memorable.

I always knew that I would raise my child Jewish. I never cared if my partner was Jewish or not, but he had to be willing to raise our kids the same way I was raised. Not everything we do or have done in my family has been the most "traditional" ... but Judaism is something that is with me.

I love incorporating our family traditions with knew ones. I can't wait to share latkes with BHR for Chanukah and Matza pancakes with him on Christmas. I love Passover ... eating Gaby's strawberry rhubarb shmooey stuff and reading my mom and Greg's new haggadah. I love that it's a living document. My mom wrote it and Greg and Lucas have both contributed over the years. It's nice to feel that being Jewish is special, that it's an honor ... I thank my mom and Greg for reminding me.

Now that Greg is a Super Jew he can make sure that BHR knows all of the history, I can sing him the songs, my mom can give him lifesavers and tic tacs and we can all eat latkes and matza brie and be thankful that we're Jewish and get to eat such tasty food.

Honeydews and Law School

2008-08-19T13:10:00.001-07:00

BHR is now 35 weeks. He is 18 inches long and around 5 1/4 lbs which is about as much as a honeydew. Most of basic physical development is complete, so now he's just gaining weight, just like his mommy!

So, BHR could be born anytime, but I have to say this ... the impossible has happened. I am finally in a law school class that I don't want to miss! The professor doesn't take roll and he doesn't really care that much if you are there and I actually want to be there! Who would have thought that it would ever happen? After two years ... two LONG years, I have finally found a class that is enjoyable. The class is Family Law. No, it's not just divorces and custody battles and it's not just depressing stuff. I've only had one class, so I can't say that I really know exactly what it's all about, but I know I like it so far and that's a huge step.

What does this mean for BHR and I? Well, it means that I'm hoping BHR can hold on at least one more week, because next week we are discussing same-sex marriage and frankly that's one of the reasons I came to law school, so I'm hoping I dont' have to miss it ... if BHR did decide to come a bit early, I think I'd be okay with that too:)

It's almost Fall, let's watch TV!

2008-08-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

Finally, after a week of 185 degrees I am finally comfortable. Maybe it's because school starts today or maybe its because Mother Nature is gearing up for the Fall TV lineup, either way I'm not complaining because Fall is coming!

Fall typically reminds me of school supplies, television shows and crunchy leaves. Since I'm trying to pretend that school isn't actually happening, I think I'll make a list of all of my favorite television shows. These are in no particular order ...

The Cosby Show - (I used to love watching this show with my mom and Lucas. Every Thursday we would watch the Cosby Show, Family Ties and CHeers together. We would pile into mom's bed or room and all watch and eat dinner together with our tv trays. Lucas had a Duke's of Hazzard tray and mine was Strawberry Shortcake. Mom still has them.)
Family Ties
The Facts of Life - (this was not the best show ever, but I loved it! I wanted to be just like Joe, although I never really wanted a motorcycle.)
The A-Team
Cheers
21 Jump Street - (But only the Johnny Depp episodes because Booker was just lame!)
Seinfeld
Friends - (I got to see the show taped live once ... I'm pretty sure I cried when they introduced the cast members.)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer - (when Greg and I first moved in together, I asked him to record to the show for me because I had class or something. All he had to do was press record, but instead he decided that he would leave the tv on and since he didn't want to listen to the show, he put it on mute. This was before TiVo. So, he recorded the entire show on mute and when I went to watch it there was no sound ... we almost broke up that night. I like to think that I was the better person for forgiving him, but really he was the better person for not leaving me after learning of my crazy obsession with a fake tv show about vampires)
Felicity - (Greg hates this show! He hates that they all whisper and I have to say that is pretty weird)
Arrested Development - (Seriously one of the funniest shows ever on television. I wish it were still on.)
Scrubs - the musical episode is genius!
Sex and the City - (minus the last season because the Russian dancer was gross and the show got depressing)
The Office - (I watch the US version, not because I don't think the UK version is good or probably even better than the US version, but mostly because I can't understand a word that Ricky Gervais says and then I get embarrassed and Greg makes fun of me.)
30 Rock - (Doesn't everyone relate to Liz Lemon ... the episode where she goes to some new NYC club opening and she feels uncomfortable so she tries to chat with some people and she says "So... do you guys watch Heroes? I like the Japanese guy" and they all look at her like she's crazy.)
Alias - (I still haven't seen the final season, but the show is still quite entertaining! I love Sydney Bristow. She secretly made me want to become some sort of spy or FBI person ... I think it could work as long as they don't expect me to travel or shoot anyone or use weapons. Otherwise I think I'd be awesome!)
Veronica Mars - (Another show that was cancelled well before it's time. Who doesn't love a sassy, teenage super sleuth who quotes The Big Lebowski and has a dog named "back-up"? Even Greg watched this show with me)
Gilmore Girls - (Another show that Greg wishes I never discovered. He says it's because they have this weird "lalalala" song that they play between scenes, but really I think he likes it.)

Hair Washing and Finger Joints

2008-08-18T11:29:00.001-07:00

I haven't had too much to say these days ... mostly just trying to get by. School officially starts today and I'm just not there yet. I'm not ready. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready because to be honest, if you couldn't tell, I don't really enjoy law school.

I am going on early maternity leave this week. My last day of work will be on Thursday. I'm excited! I've been working for EdVoice for almost 3 years, it's going to be strange not driving here next week, but I'm seriously not complaining because I'm really tired!

BHR is taking a lot out of me lately... This morning was hair washing day, probably one of my least favorite things to do during the week. I got so tired blow-drying my hair this morning, I had to take a break! Hopefully the early break from work will help the energy level, but I'm not counting on it.

Recently I discovered a new pain ... last week I woke up in the middle of the night and my fingers were super sore! I have come to learn that my joints are getting looser and my fingers are a little more swollen and my knuckles hurt. Apparently this is normal and it will hopefully go away once BHR arrives or shortly thereafter, but honestly I definitely wasn't expecting pregnancy to hurt my finger joints!

Gross picture of gross looking food!

2008-08-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

I was reading my usual gossip columns and I came across this picture of a new "hot spot" restaurant that serves eggs or something ... I decided this was one of the grossest looking meals I have ever seen and think that this restaurant should probably do a much better job at advertising how tasty their food is ... that looks like a bunch of stuff that my cat just threw up! Blech!

The brocoli stuff might be tasty, but it's sitting next to a pile of weird colored, already chewed eggs ... not good in my book.

34 Weeks ... and we're back to round fruits!

2008-08-11T16:24:00.000-07:00

BHR is 34 weeks today. He weighs 4 3/4 lbs, which is about as much as a cantaloupe, and is almost 18 inches long. If BHR were born today he'd generally do fine. He might have to stay in the hospital a bit longer, but in the long run he'd be okay. Phew ... we're almost there!

Meet my new tasty sangwich ... the picture doesn't do it justice.

2008-08-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

We've been watching the olympics all weekend, so today I decided I wanted some chinese food. However, I didn't actually want to make the effort to go and get some and I didn't actually know what I wanted, so I gave up on the chinese food idea and went into the kitchen to search for some inspiration...

I came up with the tastiest sangwich EVER! I'm not usually a huge "egg" person necessarily, but this was some tasty stuff! Whole wheat roll, kona honey mustard, lettuce, pepper jack cheese, turkey bacon, and one egg with salt and pepper. MMMmmmmmmm ... meet my new sangwich.
Oh tasty sangwhich, how I enjoyed eating you with my giant glass of apple juice. How you made me so happy and filled my tum tum with tasty goodness. Thank you tasty egg sangwich. Thank you for making my insides melt with yumminess.

Hopefully this doesn't offend anyone ... it's about spanking.

2008-08-08T12:56:00.001-07:00

I preface this post by saying, if you believe in spanking, don't read this. It's not meant to offend anyone, it's my own personal views on spanking children.

Last night in my Juvenile Law class we had a very interesting discussion. It was about corporal punishment and whether or not there should be a law that a bans corporal punishment, or spanking your child. Hopefully this post does not offend anyone, but here's my take of the discussion that occurred ...

I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were against a law that banned spanking. Not everyone in the class spoke out, but the majority of students were pro-spanking, or they were not for spanking themselves, but they did not want to tell other people that they couldn't spank their child.

As someone who is about to become a mother I found this discussion incredibly interesting ... I was not raised with spankings as a child, so I have never thought about spanking my own children. I felt naive as I sat and listened to my classmates rationals about why spanking is okay ...I assumed that being in a law class most students would agree with me, I was very wrong.

One student felt that creating a law would not change behavior, to which I thought in my mind, why are you in law school? Another student felt like if his child ran across the street he should be able to teach him that it's not okay without the risk of being turned over to CPS. Others said that it's a cultural thing and that you can't tell a culture that it's not okay to do something ... they are entitled to their opinions and I kept my mouth shut (mostly because I had to pee and I wanted class to end early and also because I was so shocked and amazed at what some people were saying).

The whole time this discussion is going on books were being passed around the classroom. The books contained very graphic photos of children who were sexually assaulted or who were beaten by their parents. The pictures were so disturbing that some people wouldn't look at them and just continued to pass them along. Please don't take my statements to mean that people who spank their children are on the same level as people who sexually assault or who beat their children, but the discourse among my classmates was still shocking to me. Where do we draw the line?

The thing that I have a hard time with is this ... nowhere else in our lives is it okay to hit someone, so just because we call this "spanking" how is it different? I'm not a parent yet, so I can't say that I fully understand any of this, but it was thought provoking ... my mom told me the story of the one time she spanked me. I guess I turned to her and I said "Don't hit me! If I can't you, you can't hit me." And she said she never was able to do it again. Doesn't that make sense though? I wonder as a parent, how am I going to teach my child right from wrong? What will my methods be?

My professor, who is an expert on child abuse, made some interesting statements. While a law that banned spanking might be hard to enforce immediately, laws can change people's perspectives over time. He used the example of segregation and how people once believed that there would never be integration and look at where we are now. He talked about how at one time many people believed that it was okay for husbands to beat their wives ... maybe 10 or 15 years from now we will look back and be shocked that people thought it was okay to "spank" their children.

From a scientific perspective, the professor also mentioned that the American Academy of Pediatrics has also come out against corporal punishment saying that is ineffective. Since I am not writing a scientific article nor am I looking to get this published anywhere, I will leave it at that.

I believe that teaching people new approaches to correcting misbehavior would be a very challenging task! It would be hard to implement and telling people that one behavior is not okay without educating them as to why and providing them with resources would be irresponsible! I openly admit that I am not an expert that I don't have the answers, I would just prefer to live in a place where hitting of any kind was never involved. I'm hopeful and incredibly naive ...

Chompers Himovitz-Ries

2008-08-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

So I had a dream last night that I delivered some giant blond baby AND he had a full set of teeth. It could have been because I had just watched So You Think You Can Dance right before I went to bed and Nigel "Chompers" Lythgoe gives me the heebie jeebies, but regardless of why I dreamt it, it was traumatizing!

The dream went like this ... Here I was, all exhausted from giving birth and then they hand me some large, like 40lbs-large, baby and he has blond hair! That was strange enough, but then when he went to breast feed or something all I saw were these big chompers comin' at me. I tried to explain to the nurses that a full set of teeth on a newborn was not normal and that this couldn't possibly be my child and they insisted that it was the new "thing" and all babies have teeth now ... saves on orthodontic work later or something. Anyway, now I'm scared of labor, delivery, anesthesia and "chomper babies"!

When I thought about the dream I decided this ... the teeth thing was definitely because of Nigel Lythgoe and the blond hair thing was because I read in my pregnancy book last night that parents with dark hair are sometimes surprised to see that their newborns have blond hair and then I pictured what Greg and I would look like with blond hair.

The giant baby thing, well I think that's just because everyone keeps telling me how BIG I look and saying things that they think are funny, but in reality it's not that funny to say to a 5'1", 8 1/2 month pregnant woman "Are you sure there aren't two babies in there?" or they ask when I'm due and I tell them September and their jaws drop to the floor and then they say "Really?! That's going to be a BIG baby!"

Just so they know, that's not helpful! I know my tum-tum is big and that there is a living baby inside it, I don't need the reminder of how large I am or how big he is going to be ... the hole down there will either accommodate him or it won't, so basically I just have to trust the doctor's when they tell me "everything is measuring normal." If he doesn't fit through the hole that is provided, then the doctor's will look for other options ... I vote for the option with the least amount of pain, but that's just me.

Viva la Unicorn

2008-08-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering what has been entertaining today click here.

My brother sent this to me this morning, and I've been giggling about it all day.

Meet my new running buddy!

2008-08-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

Evelyn Ruth McNearney. Born 8-1-08 @ 6:13 am, 7 lbs. 2 oz. & 20 inches long.

Nail Watch 2008

2008-08-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

It finally happened ... the nail from the "incident" has finally fallen off! It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I think the real nail from underneath finally grew enough to push the gross one off. I'm still keeping it covered, because while I said it's not that bad, it's still not that pretty.

Since we are talking about things changing, my belly button is starting to push out. But only half of it ... so, I'm missing half of a finger nail and now half of my belly button is starting to pop out. I'm very attractive right now!

Time to go and get some tacos...

2008-08-04T18:56:00.001-07:00

These people clearly don't want to go home ... I'm sitting here and waiting for class to end. Not because the class is uninteresting, but because BHR and I want Tacos!

I'm having this problem, where I just dislike people for no reason ... I know we're all here to learn, but seriously, I can only listen to cases of child abuse and statistics for so long. Especially when I have tacos on the brain!

This class is actually quite interesting. We are talking about the when the courts and government should intervene in cases of child abuse. So that's interesting stuff right? The problem is this ... everyone has to share or question, because it's a huge subject and everyone has something to say. We're law students for cryin' out loud. But seriously, I did this already! I have a masters in social work ... so I've heard it. I'm not trying to be cold or insensitive. This stuff is serious, and really important, but you know how it's usually easier to pretent like the bad stuff doesn't exist? Well, that's how I feel right now ...

When I was reading the material, there was a series of newspaper articles that chronicled different cases of child abuse ... it made me think about the responsibility of raising a child and what that means to me; raising my own child...it's scary, but exciting.

Emotionally, I will never understand how someone abuses a child. I can read study after study and never really get it ...it makes me feel lucky and fortunate to have the family I have and to be able to learn what I'm learning ... but it doesn't make me a bad person for wanting to leave class and go and get tacos.

I've lost my walking partner ... at least for now.

2008-08-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

I've lost my walking buddy ... It's only temporary though. Leah had her baby, Evelyn, on Friday, August 1st. I'm so jealous that she got to meet her "little person." It's been so nice to go through this with someone and to be able to share our similar experiences. Part of me feels like I'm being left behind. We've been going through this together for so long, that I wish I were having BHR right now. Although, it's been really nice to know the sorts of things that are going to happen before they actually happen ...

I'm so excited to have BHR and to share in many more experiences with Leah and Evelyn. I know that we will motivate each other to keep running and it'll be nice to have someone who is going through the same things as me while they're actually happening.

I'm 33 weeks today and 7 weeks isn't really that far away, but I'm ready to introduce BHR to the world and catch up to Leah and Evelyn...